Forgotten Feelings
by StarKidMunchkin
Summary: When an illness takes over Rukia, causing her to forget everyone... Can Ichigo hide his feelings in order to make her better or will both of them give in to their forgotten feelings? COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1 Rukia Returns

It had been around a month. One whole month since things finally started to make sense in the world of the living but still so many things had been forgotten. Feelings so many people pushed aside became quite easily ignored all together and few remember.

-Orihime-

I look at Ichigo, then Uryuu and finally Chad across the classroom. We have been through so much together and I still can't see things changing. I sigh when my eyes trail back to Ichigo. He has saved me so many times and yet I still don't know how to help him.

Uryuu and Chad have always helped too but all I can do is to heal them back together for another battle. It's not been that way lately though. A few minor hollows are nothing for the three of them to handle alone. They have become so strong.

The bell rungs for lunch and everyone scrambles out of the class apart from Uryuu, Chad, Ichigo and I. The teacher leaves before Chad and Uryuu stand and both look over to Ichigo too.

"Hey Orihime. Are you coming to eat lunch?" Tatsuki says and I glance over at the door. I force a smile but shake my head which leaves her with a confused expression.

"Not today Tatsuki-Chan. I'll see you after lunch." I tell her and she waits for a second before leaving. I also stand then and we all head over to Ichigo's seat. He stares out of the window for a few seconds before switching his gaze to the three of us.

"No news I suspect." Uryuu says and Ichigo shakes his head. I guessed so too. Though it hurts me slightly I know that we all miss her. She was all out friends.

"They will contact us again. She will contact us again Ichigo." I promise him as well as the rest of us.

"How can we be sure?" He asks and I tense. I've never seen Ichigo question the Soul Society like this. He's normally just accepted that they don't need us but it's bothering him a lot more now.

"We can't but I'm sure that Renji, Rangiku, Toushiro, Ikkaku." Uryuu pauses. "And her all see us as friends too and will eventually see us again." Uryuu promises and then we all spin to look at the door.

Two corridors down we hear people yell and swear as they crash against door and walls. People yell at the soft running footsteps as they push past people and round the corner onto this corridor. The pace quickens and we all tense as the door flings open and the girl beams at us with a quickened breath.

"Did you miss me?"

-Ichigo-

I stand up so fast that my chair scrapes along the floor obliterating the moments silence after she spoke. Her black hair falling neatly with that same black strand falling between her deep indigo eyes.

I glance around and see the same shock but joy that I am feeling on the others faces but still it is Orihime who moves first. She walks forward slowly with her eyes analysing the girl. She stops a few inches away and then flings her arms around her slim body and hugs her tightly.

"I can't believe you came back." Orihime laughs though we can all tell she's also crying. The girl stands on her tip toes and peeks over her shoulder with her eyes staring right at me.

After Orihime releases her she steps towards me with a relaxed and confident pace. The same old playful smile on her face as she folds her arms across her small chest and stops a meter or so away.

"Ichigo I didn't know you guys had missed me that much. School must be a bore without me huh?" She had to ruin it. I glare at her and point my finger accusingly.

"What the hell are you doing here? You just show up and expect a warm welcome after this? Every time you shown up something bad happens and you still come back again." I yell and she looks at me before laughing a second later. I notice Orihime giggling by the door and Chad and Uryuu just smiling at me. I know what they're thinking and it's true. I haven't been this normal in a long time and we all know it's because she's shown up.

-Rukia-

Remembering back when I first came here I think Orihime stated Ichigo had a funny face not a scary one and honestly she is right. But it's not just funny, his face is kind but restrained all at the same time and openly I'll admit I missed his goofy face.

"I missed your stupid face." I admit and he smiles.

"Well than… Hey what do you mean stupid face?" He yells and I laugh again before ignoring him completely and turning my attention on Orihime.

"I didn't come to see you anyway. Rangiku wanted me to check up on Orihime and personally I missed you too." I say switching my explanation from Ichigo to Orihime.

"Speaking of Rangiku…" Ichigo starts.

I turn around and look at him confused and he rubs his chin and looks up thinking.

"You didn't bring any of them freaks with you did you?" He asks.

"What freaks?"

"Rangiku, Toushiro."

"Not really…"

"Ikkaku, Renji."

"Well I can agree with them two." I smile.

"And Byakuya." He finishes his list.

"Hey Nii-Sama has nothing to do with this! And Nii-Sama is not a freak at all but an artistic genius with a lot of pride." I argue and Ichigo smiles as the others sigh a relieved sound.

"I'll admit…" He starts. "I'm glad you haven't changed." He looks down at me and honestly I feel the same about him.


	2. Chapter 2 Same old Sob Stories

The rest of the day was spent with lessons as usual. Rukia fit back in as if she had never left and already everyone could see the huge change in Ichigo even if he himself couldn't see the impact she had on him yet.

-Orihime-

"Rukia do you have somewhere to stay?" I ask at the end of the day as we pack away.

"Of course Rukia-San can stay with me." Chizuru says hugging Rukia from behind with a cheeky smile. "It's only a one bed roomed house but if you don't mind I don't…" She giggles and Rukia smiles awkwardly before ducking under Chizuru's arms.

"Well actually I was planning to stay with…" She cuts off and grabs Ichigo's arm as he passes with a pleading smile on her face.

"No way." He growls and she sighs.

"Why your family like me." She points out but Ichigo shakes his head.

"They're still hurt about the new 'daughter' suddenly leaving and not coming back to visit at all. It would be bad to bring them close to you again." He grins but Rukia just stares at him and as he sighs we all know he's lost especially because Chizuru runs out crying over her heartbreak.

-Rukia-

I walk next to Ichigo in silence. I never thought it would be this awkward coming back and walking alone.

"I'm sorry I didn't visit." I mention and he glances down at me. His bag slung over his shoulder with his hand loosely gripping the handle.

"It's ok really. I was just slightly worried about how things were going on over there. You've had a lot of problems lately." He admits and gives me a quick smile.

"It's been fine. I'll admit Renji was a bit ticked off with me coming to visit you. I guess he's worried I'll get in trouble again." I laugh but Ichigo slows his pace.

"I bet he's just jealous." He whispers. I glance at him and then look down at the ground. I don't really know how to answer. Renji has no reason to be jealous. Though I lied about not coming to see Ichigo, it doesn't mean that I didn't want to see the others. I guess I'm just still used to the idea of only me and Ichigo being involved in the Soul Society stuff but it's been different for a long while.

"Anyway I'll apologise to your family for leaving. I'll make up some sad story and we'll be in the clear right?" I laugh and he chuckles though I have a feeling his mind is somewhere else.

-Ichigo-

"I was being threatened by these big bad men who knew my parents and they were going to hurt you all if I didn't leave, I wanted to protect you all." Rukia says sickeningly sweetly. "Because I didn't want you to get hurt dad." She looks up at my old man and tears spring from his and Yuzu's eyes.

"She called you dad." Yuzu cries and dad nods frantically.

"Welcome home daughter we missed you." He curls up on the floor and weeps for a few minutes before we step over him and walk into my room. Rukia jumps onto the bed and looks at the cupboard she is again going to stay in.

"Hey my dad and Yuzu are gonna start getting ideas if you keep just wandering in here. This is my room you know as in I sleep here and they are so judgemental about girls in my room." I warn her but she just smiles at me in a strangely cute way.

"Well they have nothing to worry about right?" She asks and it takes me a second to answer.

"Right," I say awkwardly and run my fingers through my hair. Her sat there pisses me off quite a bit. Like this is her room and not mine but honestly it's almost back to usual and I like how she pisses me off about pretty much everything. It's the one part of me she truly connects with and she almost does it on purpose.

"Anyway I better get some sleep right?" She asks. "Would it be weird if instead of in the cupboard I slept on the floor because if they come snooping and find me in a cupboard it will be a little odd right?" I flush slightly but shrug and she beams.

She opens the cupboard door and pulls out a pile of old bedding before making up a bed on the floor quickly and sitting down on it like a pet ready to watch over her owner. I fall back onto my own bed and tip my head to look at her.

"I've missed this place." She smiles cutely but it soon fades as an orange object ejects from the cupboard and flies towards her chest.

"Rukia!" The lion squeals as he lands o her chest. She grabs his head and flings him against the wall with her old angry expression.

"Well nearly all of it." She sighs.


	3. Chapter 3 White Lies

-Rukia-

I fell asleep pretty quickly. The floor not giving me as much comfort as the cupboard used too. Though it's only around five in the morning I can't get back to sleep. I just watch the messy orange hair on the bed and the quilt rising and falling slowly and calmly.

I'll admit I've seen Ichigo sleep before. The first time I stayed here I would sometimes open the door to his cupboard and sit awake watching him sleep peacefully. It kinda made me feel happy that he was ok and that until the Soul Society found me I was safe here with him.

He can't know the real reason I returned. Things in the Soul Society haven't been as good as I told everyone. Captain gets sick more often now but that's the least of our worries. Nee-sama has been getting ill lately. He sent me here in the worry I would also get sick but I can't help but worry about him.

I jump as a figure steps over Ichigo and onto the floor. My eyes squeeze shut as the figure looks down at me. They nudge my leg with their foot a few times before bending down and shaking my shoulder.

"Rukia it's me, Renji." I sit up quickly and look at my old friend. He gives a short smile and then sits down on the floor in front of me in silence.

"Renji what are you doing here?" I hiss quietly glancing at the still sleeping Ichigo. Lucky I shut Kon in the cupboard or he'd be waking everyone in the house up.

"I don't want to worry you…" He starts.

"What is it Renji?" I breathe as his eyes look down at the floor.

"I've been sent here on concern of my health." He whispers. I tense and look down at my now shaking hands.

"Nee-Sama…" I sigh. "He isn't getting better is he?"

"He's not getting much worse but Captain Unohanna can't find what's wrong with him." Renji explains and I feel my eyes prick with tears. I blink them away and then look up to find Renji looking at me with pity in his eyes.

We both jump as an orange object jumps between and us and looks from me to Renji with an angry expression. Kon glares at Renji and then turns to me with a questionable look.

"What is he doing here Nee-San?" Kon twitches and I sigh.

"He's just checking up on me Kon. Go back in the cupboard!" I order and he waits for a second before climbing slowly back into the cupboard and closing the door with one final glare at Renji.

We look at each other and both pray Kon doesn't alert Ichigo. Renji asks simply if I've told him and I shake my head in response. He doesn't ask why but just nods and then stands up.

"I know I can't stay here but I'll be around Rukia. If you need me I'll be there." He says before jumping out of the window. I don't stay sat up to see if Ichigo wakes, I lie down and close my eyes tightly hoping Nee-Sama gets better soon.

-Ichigo-

I sit up and look at the time. Damn it I'm late. I get up and notice Rukia left without me, bitch didn't wake me up. I get changed quickly and let Kon out of the cupboard until I get back form school.

"Nee-San already left?" Kon complains and I sigh.

"Yes she must have gone to school already." I explain with a glance at the annoying stuffed lion.

"Or maybe she went off early with that Soul Reaper. He had some weird red hair you know? It was like a flipping pineapple." Kon chuckles and I freeze.

"Renji? Renji was here?" I demand and Kon squirms but nods.

"Pineapple guy was here a few hours ago and was talking to Nee-San but I didn't see them leave or hear them leave for that matter." Kon explains. Why was Renji here and why wouldn't he wake me up to speak to me? Did Rukia go off with him?

I can't help but feel angry and so I throw Kon back into the cupboard and shut the door with pleasure before running out of the door and towards school.

-Orihime-

Rukia walks into the classroom with a strange look on her face. Her smile doesn't reach her eyes but she still doesn't really look sad but more worried.

"Rukia are you ok?" I ask as she perches on the edge of my desk. It takes a few seconds before she even looks at me and then she shakes her head out of the daze and smiles.

"I'm fine Orihime. Guess it was just weird staying in Ichigo's house after such a long time." She laughs slightly but I don't buy it. I've known her a while now and Rukia isn't normally this weird and especially not this tense.

"You know Rukia you can talk to me any time you want?" I urge and her smile softens as she nods.

"Thanks Orihime but I really am fine. Just had trouble sleeping last night but I'm fine now." She promises but part of me doesn't believe her though I nod along all the same.

Ichigo runs into the class a few seconds later and looks around. His eyes trail over Uryuu, Chad, me and then finally stop on Rukia. She looks at him over her shoulder and then looks away just as fast. He walks over to his seat before sitting on the edge facing Rukia and myself with a questioning expression.

"Something wrong Kurosaki-Kun?" I ask trying to ease the tension. He glances at me and shrugs.

"Hey Rukia Kon said something weird to me this morning…" He starts but her eyes stare out of the window and then widen. She shoots up quickly and then runs towards the door without saying anything. She glances over her shoulder once before running down the hall and out of sight. I walk over to the window slowly and catch a glimpse of Rukia as she walks of campus with a guy stood near her. I glance to Ichigo who walked to my side and his eyes seem to freeze on her figure before he holds in his breath and walks back to his desk in silence.


	4. Chapter 4 Sickness Spreads

-Rukia-

I walk with Renji for a while before we stop at a small park I've never been to before. He sits down on a bench and I stand in front of him. That was too close for my liking, if any of the others had seen him we would have been done for.

"Rukia…" He starts.

"Renji that was stupid! Do you realise what would happen if the others knew you were here?" I hiss.

"Not really."

"Well me neither but it wouldn't be good!" I yell before pacing up and down for a while. Renji just sits there with his head hung and his thumbs rotating around each other over and over.

"I'm sorry Rukia but I think I should enrol into your school for a while. I can keep an eye on you and I'll just say that Byakuya wanted me to make sure you were ok or that he wanted me to have a vacation and I thought here would be a good place." Renji suggests. I stop and then turn around with my fists clenched. I lied to them all and the more complicated this situation becomes the more chance they'll know I lied. The look on Orihime's face when I came back, how I could lie to her. I don't have to but…

"Rukia-Chan!" A recognisable voice calls and both me and Renji freeze. This can't be happening to me, not now of all times.

"Get out of here Renji." I order and he stands up quickly. He glances over his shoulder but all four of our friends are already heading towards the two of us with confused looks on their faces.

"What do we do?" Renji hisses. It should be simple to keep lying to them but I can't. So I freak out and grab Renji's hand.

"Run!" I demand and turn away from them, just catching Ichigo's sad eyes. Renji doesn't hesitate and so we both run, I can't see why I thought of this but it's easier to run away then lie to them all again. If I can just find somewhere else to stay for a while.

I glance back over my shoulder as we open the park gate and to my horror I see Ichigo transforming as well as the others running after us. Renji curses under his breath but I pull him back into the park as Ichigo uses flash step towards us.

"To the other gate." I order and so we head away again hearing Orihime's begging voice for us to stop. This looks even worse I guess but what can I say.

"Rukia what are we gonna do?" Renji asks and I let go of his hand and slide to a stop.

"Keep going, you can't get caught Renji. They can't know what's going on in the Soul Society. I'll find you later."

"What're you gonna do?" He asks pausing for a second as I pull my Chappy soul candy from my bag and pop one into my mouth before stepping out of my body easily. I look back at the other me and she nods before grabbing Renji and pulling him towards the park gate.

Just in time, I think as I hold onto the white handle of Sode No Shirayuki. I jump to the left blocking off Ichigo's flash step towards Renji, Zangetsu's blade crossing with Sode No Shirayuki's and Ichigo's face only a few inches from mine.

-Ichigo-

I don't know what to do. This isn't right. Why would Rukia be hiding away from us and why with Renji?

"Rukia, what are you doing?" I search her eyes for an answer but she looks almost as shocked as me. She jumps back and looks from me to Uryuu, Chad and Orihime stood only a few meters away.

"If you try to go after him, I'll have to stop you." Rukia whispers. I step forward slightly. "If you try to go after him, I will stop you Ichigo Kurosaki."

I freeze to the spot. My mind feels numb with the whole situation. I can see she's not herself but why now? Why did she come back if she was going to go against me? Do I really mean that little to her and the Soul Society.

"Rukia-Chan?" Orihime steps in front of me and then Rukia also tenses. She backs away a little as Orihime approaches slowly, Rukia's hands shake as Orihime steps only a meter away.

"Don't come any close Orihime. I don't want to fight you." Rukia warns.

"Ichigo drop Zangetsu." Uryuu orders and I glance over my shoulder at him as his bow disappears into nothing. "She feels threatened you moron. Put Zangetsu down." I turn back to her and drop Zangetsu a second later.

I don't understand. Why is she threatened by us? We're her friends aren't we? We don't want to fight with her but she can't hide herself away from us forever. I need to know why she was with Renji. She grabbed his hand and ran from us, from me. Honestly if this sickly feeling is jealousy I wish it didn't exist.

"Rukia-Chan I don't know what's happened with you and with Renji but if it's bad you can tell us." Orihime says. Rukia grips her handle so tightly the whole sword shakes in her hands as Orihime approaches.

When he falls forward we all move to grab her but Orihime keeps her up and wraps her arms around Rukia. She looks so small in her arms and so vulnerable.

"Rukia-Chan?" Orihime whispers.

"I don't know what to do. I was fine, we were all fine but…" Rukia chokes before tears burst out of her eyes. She lets out a sob and part of me wants to be the one holding her. I want to have caught her and held her up. "Orihime I can't go back there. What did I do?"

"Rukia-Chan do you want to come and stay with me? You and Renji?" Orihime offers and Rukia nods burying her face into Orihime's orange hair and letting all her tears fall.

-Orihime-

I don't know why she is upset but Rukia needs me. I can see the shock of what she did. I don't think she ever thought she'd have to raise her sword against Ichigo before.

At the other end of the park Renji leans against the fence and as we approach he runs up to us and flings his arms around her still shaking body. She doesn't even react but just stands frozen while he asks her if she's ok.

"Rukia, Rukia, are you ok? Please I need to know if you're ok?" He begs.

"Renji, I need to tell her." She says simply and her eyes scan over me. I notice she doesn't look at the others bur Renji does. He looks at them all one by one but doesn't say anything.

"Renji." Ichigo snarls.

"Let's go Rukia." Renji ignores Ichigo completely.

"Don't pretend the rest of us aren't here. Answer me when I'm talking to you, you freakin' pineapple!" Ichigo yells as the three of us walk away. I can't help but feel like I'm betraying Ichigo, Chad and Uryuu but is Rukia thinks she can tell me her problems then I need to be there for her and only her.

"Ichigo just leave it." I beg. All of them look at me in shock. I let go of Rukia and let Renji continue walking with her.

"Orihime…"

"Please Ichigo, I don't know what happened but Rukia isn't well and I need to help her. If she doesn't want your help then leave her alone." I say flatly and they all just look at me. I feel their eyes on my back as I turn and run up to Renji to guide him back to my house. I don't care if they hate me now because Rukia is sick and I have a feeling I won't be able to make her better.


	5. Chapter 5 Explaination

-Orihime-

I open the door, Renji now carrying Rukia's shaking body, and lead them inside. I glance over my shoulder at them and Renji looks down at his friend frantically trying to work out what's wrong.

"Renji," Rukia whispers. "I'm cold." She smiles and I automatically point to the door leading to my bedroom.

"Put her in my bed." I order and I follow Renji into my room where I push past him and pull back the quilt on my single bed before he lays her down on it and pulls the cover back over her.

I run out of the room and bring in a chair from the kitchen and put it next to my bed before letting Renji sit down on it (he does offer for me to but I feel like right now she needs him) and so I stand at the end of the bed looking down at her.

Her eyes look darker than usual, not darker but clouded, and her tiny drops of sweat roll down her face. Renji holds her shaking hand under the cover of the quilt and just watches her with a horrified look in his eyes.

"I'll get a cold flannel." I say after a minute and run out into the kitchen and rout through cupboards to find a cloth. I run the cold tap for at least thirty seconds before I put the flannel under the water and then squeeze it gently before turning off the tap and walking back into the room.

I lean over the bed next to Renji and place the flannel on her forehead before backing away slowly towards the end of the bed again. I'm about to leave and make some tea when Rukia coughs and mumbles something quietly.

"Tell her Renji." She says before going quiet again.

I stand against the kitchen unit watching the water in the kettle boil. I tried to keep myself occupied by preparing the tea bags and sugar and getting out the milk but honestly it took a lot less time than I expected and so my mine wandered straight to Rukia.

She changed so suddenly, she was normal and then she stopped Ichigo and she suddenly changed. If it was gradual she sure as hell didn't show it and so I can only presume she suddenly changed for the worst. The thing that is making me confused though is I've seen Rukia injured and almost dying but I've never seen her sick or have an illness before and honestly it's horrifying.

"She's fallen asleep." Renji says as he walks out of the room and is about to close the door but then leaves it ajar instead.

"Maybe it will do her some good." I say as the kettle clicks and I pour the tea. I glance up but Renji doesn't seem to look hopeful. I sigh and ask him about sugar and then nod towards the sofa. He sits down and I hand him his tea before sitting on a matching chair on the other side of the coffee table.

We both sip out tea for a second but Renji looks down and my eyes never leave him. I put my tea down and wait while he keeps drinking until almost half the cup is gone and then puts his own tea down and looks up.

"Right then, I think it's time you tell me what's going on." I say and he nods slowly.

-Renji-

"It started about a month and a half ago and it started with Captain Ukitake." I start knowing I have to tell the truth.

She shifts in her seat to get comfortable guessing it's going to be a long story and then smiles. "I'm listening."

"There started to be a change in his illness and it started with him getting a sudden fever. No one found it strange at first and just ignored it and focused on getting him better. It was around two weeks later when Byakuya had been visiting Ukitake a lot the Byakuya suddenly came down with a fever and was sent straight to bed." I take a deep breath. "Then Unohanna found the next stage of the illness by observing Ukitake and she told almost everyone but Rukia about the fact that Ukitake couldn't remember people close to him starting with Captain Shunsui of squad eight. We didn't want to worry Rukia…"

I tell her all about how Rukia spent every day for two weeks by Byakuya's side and became happier as he seemed to get better but him knowing he might soon forget her sent her here lying that she may get the same illness. It was only a day after she left that Byakuya couldn't remember where he was and who I was so I was sent here to make sure Rukia didn't return until they found a cure.

"How horrible." Orihime's hand wandered unconsciously over her mouth in shock as I was telling her. "And those early conditions are the same as Rukia's now." She glances at the door to her room and tears prick her eyes.

"In a few days she may not be able to even remember us." I final say and Orihime stands up in silence and runs into the room. I follow after her and find her sat on the chair holding Rukia's hand with tears falling down her cheeks.

"Please get better soon Rukia." Orihime begs. "Don't leave us when you've only just come back."

I could go and tell her everything would be fine but we both know at this rate everything isn't fine. Rukia has caught the illness and any extra time we spend with her is risking us catching it to. Byakuya has to get better soon because then they can help Rukia but right now we couldn't even take her back to the Soul Society because it wouldn't make a difference.

-Uryuu-

Ichigo paces up and down his room while myself and Chad sit on his bed watching him. He mumbles to himself in a strange debate about Rukia and Renji.

"I wonder if Rukia's ok." Chad tells me and I nod in agreement.

"Something is definitely not right here." I sigh as Ichigo comes to a halt and turns to face us.

"I've got it!" He smiles and puts a finger in the air to symbolise his Eureka moment. We sit up to hear his conclusion. "Rukia can't be having a romantic relationship with Renji because they are like brother and sister and also Byakuya would kill him!"

"Please remind me what you are talking about?" I hiss.

"I am brilliant you know. I thought for a freaky moment Renji and Rukia were having some romantic holiday in our town but no Rukia is actually here because she misses me." We give him a strange look and he turns slightly red. "Misses us I mean."

"Ichigo didn't you see her? Rukia is very unwell and you're blabbering on about nonsense." I snarl and he tenses and looks down at the floor.

"I understand that Uryuu but as far as I could see Rukia was trying to defend Renji from me." Jealousy flashes through his eyes. "I don't care anymore, it's not my problem." He says angrily but all of us can sense the lie in his words.


	6. Chapter 6 Last Day

-Renji-

I ended up sleeping on the sofa. I didn't realise how tired I was until Orihime asked if I wanted her to make a bed up in her room so I could be with Rukia but I said I'd be fine on the sofa and true to my word fell asleep within five minutes of laying down.

I yawn and walk over to the partly open door to Orihime's room and peek through the gap quietly. Orihime is still sat on the chair with her fingers entwined with Rukia's. She'd be sat there all night as far as I know but luckily she got some sleep.

"Renji?" Orihime asks and her eyes open slowly.

"Sorry I didn't want to wake you." I say but she shakes her head and stands up, waiting a second before gently letting go of Rukia's hand.

"It's ok I've got school today. I think you should come with me Renji." Orihime admits and I'm about to protest when she smiles. "If you get the illness too then I'm not sure how I would cope. This is the last day of term so she'll only be alone for a few hours…" She's interrupted by the phone ringing in the kitchen.

I move out of the way as she opens the door fully before closing it slightly again and then walks with an easy but tired pace into the kitchen before answering the phone with a polite greeting.

* * *

><p>-Orihime-<p>

"Hi Orihime its Karin." The girl's voice says.

"And Yuzu!" Another one shouts.

"Oh hey you two, what's up?" I ask politely.

"We overheard Ichi saying Rukia is sick." Karin says and I imagine I could lie and say she's fine but I'm sure Ichigo would say something if she didn't come to school after I lied.

"Yeah she's got a fever." I say not elaborating on the subject.

"Well me and Yuzu broke up from school yesterday instead so do you want us to come over and watch her?" Karin offers and I make a sort of shocked but uncertain sound.

"I dunno, what if you two get sick?" I sigh and there is a lot of noise as I presume Karin passes the phone over.

"Please Orihime, it won't be for all day, we'll come over after lunch if you leave us a spare key by the door." Yuzu pleads.

"Ok but instead come to the school at lunch and I'll meet you at the gate and give you my key because I don't have a spare." I suggest and Yuzu tells Karin the plan and then says goodbye and hangs up.

I put the phone down and tell Renji the plan before telling him to wait a minute while I get ready. I change in my room fast and then look on my chest of draws at the picture of me and Rukia at school from a few months ago. We both look so happy and you can see Tatsuki in the back ground.

"You ready to go Orihime?" Renji calls and I reply with a yes as I pick up my ready-made bag from the floor and head out of the room. We step outside the apartment and I can't help but feel nervous at the fact that yesterday I left my three friends and even though I was helping Rukia I feel slightly guilty but I know I can't tell them about the situation in the Soul Society. Rukia trusted me enough to just tell me and so I can't betray that trust whether she'll know me in a few days or not.

* * *

><p>-Ichigo-<p>

Karin and Yuzu avoided my questions that morning about who they were speaking to on the phone. I don't mind much but they're not usually so secretive. I guess I'm pretty secretive with them about the whole Shinigami thing.

I glance at Uryuu and Chad to my right, they called at my house this morning and offered to walk to school together so I wasn't going to turn them down. I normally walk alone or usually at times like this with Rukia.

"Hey Ichigo." Uryuu says and nods ahead of us where two figures walk side by side about ten meters up the road. Orihime had her hair down as usual and Renji looks casual in the same clothes he wore yesterday though I'm sure his top's changed. He's obviously wearing a gigai because people keep asking Orihime who he is.

I sit at my desk and Uryuu and Chad wait by me but we all just watch how Orihime sticks with Renji rather than coming over to us. I don't get Renji's problem either really, he shows up and doesn't speak to us when we're meant to be friends.

"Orihime, who's your friend?" Tatsuki asks her and I listen in hared to hear the excuse she's come up with.

"He's one of my friends from that cooking class in town I was telling you about. Renji is helps me with all the cakes and bread baking." Orihime laughs coming up with some strange story about burn cake.

"What you doing here though Renji? At our school I mean?" Tatsuki asks in a friendly tone and I can't help but smirk at the idea of them answering that one.

"Honestly Orihime told me how great her school was and I was considering transferring here anyway so she said I should come for an observation day with her." Renji smile and Tatsuki nods and comments on how awesome that would be.

"I told him that he'd make great friends here." Orihime agrees.

"Yeah you could hang out with us guys though honestly I'd stay clear of Kurosaki." Tatsuki peers over Renji's shoulder at me with a cheeky grin.

"Why what's up with Kurosaki?" Renji says calmly.

"He's just a bit odd and has these random mood swings or goes missing for days." Tatsuki laughs. "Luckily he hasn't rubbed off on Orihime-Chan!" Tatsuki beams and I can't help but want to hit on the head as well as Renji. I don't get what's going on but as I glance at Uryuu and Chad I know that together we sure as hell are gonna find out!


	7. Chapter 7 Boxed Away

-Orihime-

The day went reasonably fast but also to plan. I met Yuzu and Karin at dinner and they have been looking after Rukia but throughout the day it became harder to avoid Ichigo, Uryuu and Chad.

I knock on the door with Renji close behind me and a few seconds later it opens and Yuzu smiles at the both of us as we step inside. I look around and can't help but notice everything looks so much cleaner and something smells really good coming from the kitchen.

"I hope you don't mind but I cleaned a bit and then made you some tea. You had some strange meals in your fridge so I nipped out and have frozen a cottage pie and some cheese sauce to go on pasta but right now am cooking tomato soup." Yuzu says awkwardly but I just shrug and smile at her. I ask about Karin and Yuzu just nods towards my room with a smile before dashing back into the kitchen.

"Thanks you two you've been a great help. I really didn't want to leave Rukia alone." I say quite loudly so Karin can hear. She steps out of the room and gives me a shrug.

"It's ok I was just reading her a magazine." She holds up her sports magazine with a nervous smile. "But I'll have to get going now, I wanna be home before Ichi and then I can make up an excuse for Yuzu." She continues and heads for the door. She says a quick goodbye before leaving the three of us. Renji sits down on the sofa nervously. I guess he doesn't want Karin or Yuzu to mention him to Ichigo or he'll get suspicious and maybe mad if he knows I actually let Renji stay here too.

"Yuzu are you ok?" I ask and she finally comes out of the kitchen a few moments later with a smile on her face as she nods.

"Sure I am but I better get going, the soups ready by the way."

"Thanks again Yuzu you've been a great help. Feel free to visit again some time." I offer and Yuzu smiles.

"We will try but our holiday is pretty packed with helping dad out. Just look after Rukia for us yeah? Also try and give her some soup!" Yuzu orders but with a soft tone before she dashes out of the door and closes it behind her.

I flop back onto the chair and me and Renji just look at each other for a second. I guess we both are pretty warn out by the whole situation we've got in but then again we're both loyal to Rukia and both know we have to be there for her.

"I'm gonna try and give some soup to Rukia, do you want me to get you some?" I ask Renji and stand up. He nods politely before dropping his head into his hands and sighing. I know how he feels but there is nothing we can do.

I walk into the kitchen where there is a sticky note on the fridge to remind me about the other two meals. I smile and then smell the soup still on the stove those it's been turned off. It smells rich but creamy and admiringly better than the things I seem to make. I get two bowls and fill one while only putting a few spoonful's in the next one encase Rukia can't eat properly. It only then occurs to me she might be thirsty and so I also make up a lemon squash in a tall glass with lots of ice and a straw before taking Renji's soup into him and then going into my room to see Rukia.

She looks so strange lying there with messy hair tinged with sweat and her arms covered in goose bumps showing that she really is sick. She does look slightly better though and when I put the drink and soup on the chest of draws and check her forehead it seems to have gone down but I better top up the flannel on her head just encase.

I run out of the room with the flannel in my hand and glance at Renji blowing and then slowly eating his soup with a dull expression on his face and sad eyes. I guess he's never seen Rukia like this either or he might be coping better. I've seen lots of friends sick but in the Soul Society and especially Soul Reapers don't seem to get very ill with the exception of Ukitake. I run the flannel under the cold tap before rinsing it again and then heading back into my room.

She does look a lot better actually. She doesn't look as pale and she isn't shivering as much but instead seems to be sweating a lot more. I should probably change her clothes encase she really has sweat a lot during the day. I put the flannel on the side and then route through my chest of draws for an old cotton nighty with a picture of a rabbit on, it's perfect for her really. Then I pull back Rukia's covers slowly and notice though now in a gigai she is in her school uniform.

I undress her quickly taking the top half of her clothes off first so I can pull the nightie straight over her and then removing her school skirt and socks after deciding keeping her underwear on was probably the best option for everyone. I'm about to lay her back down when her eyes flutter open and she gives me a tired and weak smile.

"Orihime-San." She whispers and then I just smile back at her.

"Rukia-Chan Yuzu came by and made you some soup, do you want to try some?" She nods her head and so I keep her sat up and gently twist her legs round so she's facing me and then move her back so she can lean back against the wall. I quickly pull the covers back over her almost bare legs and then get the soup off the side and sit in the chair slowly feeding her mouthfuls of soup. After she'd eater about half the bowl she stopped and lay down again but this time on her side with the covers tucked under her chin.

I put the soup on the side again and pick up the flannel before putting it gently onto her head and waiting for a few minutes before she fell asleep again. Even now though I can't bring myself to leave the room in the fear that when she wakes up she won't remember me.

* * *

><p>-Ichigo-<p>

We talked about it during the day when there was no chance Orihime or Renji could hear us. Tomorrow is Saturday and we are to meet up at around twelve and head over to Orihime's to see Rukia. Well I wanted to see Rukia but Uryuu and Chad wanted to solve the situation with Orihime and Renji as well.

I look up at my bedroom ceiling and glance at my door when I hear Yuzu talking to Karin about some telly programme though it sounds rather odd and has something to do with soup so it must be the cooking channel. Yuzu came back after me today and when I asked she just replied with a simple she went into town to see if the shoes she wanted had gone and they unfortunately had so she searched another few shops. It was a reasonable explanation apart from normally Karin would go with her and also she never mentioned to either me or dad that she wanted new shoes.

I feel a bit stupid really. I could have demanded an explanation today at lunch or at break but I couldn't bring myself to knowing that if this is serious as we think, they wouldn't tell us in school anyway. I felt a bit ill when I saw Renji was allowed to take Rukia's seat today. I normally glance over and see her shinning face but instead I saw a red pineapple with an ugly mug which was made worse by his dull expression.

"Ichi do you want me to make you anything for tea?" Yuzu calls up the stairs.

"I'm not hungry thanks." I shout back with no enthusiasm at all but I'm a little depressed really.

When Rukia came back every time before it was easy. I learned after the first second she told me she wasn't returning to the World of the Living that my feelings for her obviously meant nothing and so I gave up on the idea of her and me. It was a stupid idea in the first place because it would never work due to the pure fact she's a Shinigami and I'm only a substitute. Then every time after that when she showed up it was easy to box away those feelings but this time when she came in with that thick black strand of hair between her violet eyes and her flicks of long hair falling cutely past her shoulders like old times, I knew those feelings were just that, just boxed away.


	8. Chapter 8 Awake

-Orihime-

Last night I slept on the chair again holding Rukia's hand. I did have more hope after she managed to eat yesterday but that's the thing. She looks a lot better today but as Renji said when the fever died down Ukitake suddenly forgot everyone he was close to. So the way I see it is we might only have one day left with Rukia remembering who we are.

I leave the door half open when I walk into the lounge and can hear Renji in the kitchen. My kitchen is a little weird and has one whole wall cut away so it's sort of open plan but also closed off. I glance around the wall to see Renji frying some eggs.

"Oh good morning." He says noticing me as I lean against the wall.

"She's looking a lot better." I sigh and he nods his head.

"I thought you might be hungry so I just made eggs and there is some bread in the toaster but I didn't know how well done you wanted it." Renji smiles changing the subject.

"Thanks, I'll put it in now then. How do you like it?" I ask heading over to the toaster.

"I don't mind as long as it's not burnt and as long as it has lots of butter." He laughs and I nod changing the toaster setting and then pressing it down before getting the butter out of the fridge.

"I guess we should make more soup for Rukia later." I try and sound casually but both of us notice the shaking in my voice.

"We should." Renji says. "It'll be fine you know. We'll find a way to cure her and then we'll get it to anyone who's been affected in the Soul Society." He assures me but then is silent when I ask him if there is any news from the Soul Society.

"Renji?" A ask and he looks up with a sad expression.

"Apparently Captain Shunsui has been rushed to Squad four due to a sudden fever and the whole thing is affecting the Soul Society because three Captains are ill and two can't even remember what Squad they belong to." He explains and I just nod and butter the toast he serves the eggs onto two plates, neither of us having anything else to say.

* * *

><p>-Ichigo-<p>

I spent around two hours thinking about the many things I could start off saying but the moment I saw Uryuu and Chad I knew I'd just lose it anyway. I could tell they were both worried, Uryuu especially in the fear Orihime has been affected. I've known about Orihime's crush on me for a while but I also know how much Uryuu likes Orihime so I could never mess things up. I actually thought after we saved Rukia Uryuu and Orihime would end up together.

Enough of what happened then anyway, we are currently on our way to Orihime's house. It's about noon and though I did suggest we eat first Uryuu and Chad both want to get this sorted out as fast as possible.

"Are you sure Orihime will be in?" I ask nervously.

"Yes because on our way to your house we walked past her house and saw two of the windows open. So unless she wants to get robbed I reckon she's in." Uryuu says as if it's obvious. I scowl at him and he just gives me a disapproving look and murmurs that I'm acting like a child. I would pound him to the floor but then I realise Uryuu is suddenly taller and that's because he's walking up the stairs to Orihime's flat.

I follow after and we all wait by the door for a second before Uryuu takes a deep breath and knocks on the door. We hear the voices inside stop talking and it's as if the footsteps towards the door are amplified by my nerves, I honestly think I'm going to pass out.

"Uryuu?" Orihime asks surprised and then glances from him to me and Chad.

"Hey Orihime, can we come in please." Uryuu asks her and gives her an assuring look. She nods slowly and moves back allowing us to step inside.

I notice Renji raise one of his eyebrows from the couch when Orihime closes the door and offers us a seat. Uryuu gives me and Chad a nod before sitting down. Chad wavers but then sits down on the edge of the sofa leaving only me eventually standing.

"Where's Rukia?" I get straight to the point. No one answers but my eyes trail to the slight ajar door leading to Orihime's room and head towards it. Both Orihime and Renji stand up, Renji steps in front of the door and Orihime steps in front of me.

"Wait Ichigo." She begs.

"Let me see Rukia." I demand and Orihime pushes against me gently with her hands as I try and move forward.

"Please Ichigo we need to explain things first." Orihime begs and I stop. I could keep trying but I can either see Rukia and probably be thrown out or get an explanation first and then see her.

Uryuu and Chad both turn their head and then stand up and head behind me before both grabbing one of my arms and pulling me back a few steps. Uryuu gives Orihime and Renji another reassuring look and Renji sits down on the sofa again.

Orihime tells us the story as well as Renji must have told here. I listened closely from start to end trying to keep an open view on everything that was happening. I don't understand why Rukia lied and told us she was here because she missed us. I mean seriously I kinda had my hopes up but now things have just got complicated and I already knew this must be an attack on the Soul Society.

"In a few days Rukia probably won't be able to remember us." Orihime finishes and I look at her with a shocked expression.

"What do you mean?" I snarl.

"Well I mean that…"

"You're saying basically that for the last day you haven't told us how sick Rukia really is and not only that but the fact that now the time we have with her is so short that by tomorrow she might not know who we are!" I shout and Renji begins to speak at the same time as Uryuu and Orihime turning out conversation into an argument.

* * *

><p>-Rukia-<p>

I wake up to the sound of loud voices in the next room. As I sit up the flannel drops from my head and I stare at it confused. Where am I? I look around the small room obviously belong to a girl before noticing a bowl of soup as well as a picture of myself and Orihime at school.

Obviously I know where I am. I've never really spent much time in Orihime's room mind you but I guess we must have been living together a while for her to let me sleep in her bed. I stretch my arms in the air and fling my legs over the edge of the bed. My toes brushing against the cold wooden floor I notice the nightie. She really does know me well.

I stand up before yawning and stretching my arms above my head again and then head over to the chest of draws and smile at the picture. We really do look happy together there. I smile sweetly as if the two girls were looking back at me before I glance at the soup already knowing it's probably cold. I don't remember eating any yesterday but Orihime doesn't seem to have touched it. I shrug with a smile and head towards the raised voices cautiously before opening the door.

"Orihime-Chan?" I squeak suddenly noticing the amount of people in the room. They all stop when they see me and Orihime turns around with a surprised look on her face. I notice a guy with red hair stand up with the same shocked expression. I bring my hand up to my mouth and place the tip of my thumb in my mouth before sucking it gently.

"Rukia-Chan?" Orihime chokes giving me a small smile. I knew this relieved smile of hers so well.

"Orihime-Chan, who are all these people?" I ask gingerly taking a step towards her with my head down but not down far enough to miss the change in her smile. It turns into a more saddened smile as I approach her and then hide behind her slightly, with one hand holding onto her sleeve and the other holding her arm lower down, peering at the three guys in front of her.

One of which is tall with dark hair and quite dark skin. He seems pretty strong but doesn't seem to have much emotion in his eyes. Another was taller than me with black hair and glasses. He was kinda cute to be honest but my eyes lingered on the one in the middle. His orange spiky hair and his light brown eyes made me feel all strange and tingly. I gave a shy smile before grabbing onto her more tightly and tugging on her arm for an answer.

"Rukia-Chan don't you know who they are?" She asks me in a more serious voice. I glance around at the red head behind me and then back to the others and then look up at her with a confused smile.

"Never seen them before Orihime-Chan." I reply honestly but can see the pain behind her gentle smile.


	9. Chapter 9 Just lunch

-Ichigo-

I feel physically sick. The way she acted when she left the room almost made me so happy. I thought it was over but then she said those words.

_Never seen them before Orihime-Chan._

She looks almost different. There is an obvious change in her eyes, the once cold and strong eyes look too bright and emotional for the Rukia I knew. She just looks at me with so many questions and I can't help but just look at her back.

"I can't believe…" Orihime chokes, a single tear runs from her blinking eyes but Rukia doesn't notice. Instead she steps around Orihime cautiously and then bows her head low.

"I'm Rukia Kuchiki, it is very nice to meet you all." She says in a sweet voice before looking up when Uryuu introduces himself followed by Chad, she looks over her shoulder when Renji finally introduces herself. She looks back to me and shyly wraps her arms around herself and shivers.

I can't move or speak, I just can't look away from her, I don't understand how not only she forgot me but her whole personality has changed.

"Kuchiki-San maybe we could…" Renji starts.

"May I have your name?" She ignores him speaking directly to me. Her eyes look so young and innocent in the way she shyly smiles up at me.

"Ichigo Kurosaki." I manage to stay and her smile brightens into a girly and cute smile. She lets out a small giggle.

"It's very nice to meet you Kurosaki-Kun." She smiles tipping her head to the side before looking at Uryuu.

"What is it Rukia-San?" Uryuu asks cautiously with a tiny ray of hope in his eyes.

"Orihime-Chan you have some cute friends." Rukia comments with another giggle and steps slightly closer to Uryuu. I can't help but feel jealous of the attention she is giving him. He just stares at her with a very confused look on his face.

"Rukia-Chan?" Orihime questions.

"I mean look at his cute haircut and he has the cutest eyes hidden behind those adorably geeky glasses." Rukia comments before spinning around to look at Orihime.

"Rukia?" Orihime asks more worriedly.

"You should go on a date with Ishida-Kun Orihime. I think you two could be really close." Rukia beams.

* * *

><p>-Rukia-<p>

"We were very close for a while." Ishida-Kun murmurs and I give Orihime an approving look before glancing to my side at Kurosaki-Kun. He sure is handsome with his dreamy eyes and sharp but beautiful features, he looks strong to.

"Rukia?" He asks informally and I flush slightly red. We've only known each other a few minutes and already we're onto a first name basis and just a first name basis. "Are you ok, you look a little dazed?" He continues and looks at me with an expression tinged with sadness.

"You sure are handsome Kurosaki-Kun." I think aloud. He turns a slight shade of pink and I giggle. "Don't get me wrong you're also cute but you really have a handsome look about you. Do you want to grab something to eat?" I ask.

"What?" He gulps.

"I'm pretty hungry and it would be great to get to know you." I admit and then skip to Orihime's side without letting him answer.

"Orihime-Chan though we live together I couldn't find any of my clothes." I complain and she gives me a shocked expression but it quickly fades into a smile.

"Remember Rukia-Chan you've only lived here a few days and we were going to get you new clothes. You can borrow some of my old stuff if you like?" Orihime says jogging my memory. I've only lived here a short while.

* * *

><p>-Orihime-<p>

"Thanks Orihime-Chan." Rukia beams and skips off into my room. I take a quick look around at my friends and feel uncomfortable. She can remember me and me only.

"Why can she only remember you?" Renji asks getting straight to the point. A hint of anger in his tone.

"Hurry Orihime-Chan!" Rukia calls before I have chance to answer. I just shrug before heading into my room after Rukia. I can't help but think though what she said about Uryuu. I don't know when he means and he isn't my type but I guess when I actually look at him properly he is pretty cute and he's so kind.

I route from my draws and find loads of things Rukia would suit but our sizes are so different so I end up looking in a box full of my old clothes from a few years back. We end up agreeing on one of my old dresses (much to my surprise) and then I leave her to get changed.

As I step out Uryuu and Chad have sat down but Ichigo stays standing but instead leaning against the wall to the kitchen. His face is still slightly flushed from before and honestly I was a little jealous. I've had a thing for Ichigo for years and this new side of Rukia is all over him with her new girly giggle and new vulnerable personality. I can't bring myself to blame her though because she remembered me for some reason and right now I'm the only person she knows.

* * *

><p>-Ichigo-<p>

When Orihime's bedroom door opens I can't help my mouth from falling open. Rukia stands there shyly dressed in a knee length white dress with white straps and tiny pink and yellow flowers detailed all over the material. On her feet are a pair of small wedged heels with a bow at her ankle. Her plain white bag strap is on her shoulder and the bag hangs loosely at her waist height. Her hair is down with its usual black strand between her eyes but standing out in her black hair is a cute white headband with a small white bow on it.

"Are you ready to go Kurosaki-Kun?" She says politely with a smile at me as she heads for the door. I just nod and follow after her but glance back at my friends before I leave.

Uryuu and Chad both give me a supportive look, Orihime just gives me a small smile but surprisingly Renji glares at me as if I've just punches him in the face and his eyes burn with many negative emotions.

We walk down the stairs and towards the centre of town. Rukia walks by my side and asks me lots of questions like how I'm doing at school or what's my favourite type of takeaway. I just give small answers but the whole time keep my eyes focused on her. What I can say hasn't changed is her naturally simple beauty. She doesn't wear any makeup or have large breasts (not that I care) but she is so smart and pretty that she blows me away.

"Let's eat in here." Rukia says as we stop in front of a small café. To my sort of horror I notice this particular café is known for its value of love and sharing. It's a huge spot for couples all over town to eat at and, having walked past it many times, comfortably make out at.

I'm about to protest when Rukia pushes open the door and glances over her shoulder at me with her violet eyes pleading me to agree. I just nod and step in after her and after a second a girl suddenly appears in front of Rukia.

The uniform in here is meant to be cute and relaxing but also signalling love. It is all those thing. The uniform is basically a maid's outfit but its pink and white and there are tiny embroidered red hearts on every each item of their uniform.

"Welcome nee-sama, I will be personally waiting on you two today so please ask me for anything. Will it be a table at the front or back?" The girl asks. Rukia turns to me and mouths the words 'how cute?' before turning back to the girl.

"The back please." I say in the hope no one will see us but instead (which I can tell by the girl who works here's expression) make it sound like I'm here with Rukia to have some intimate and romantic meal at the back so no one disturbs the intimacy we will share here. Which is not true though I kinda wish it was.

She leads us past table after table of couples, some sharing drinks or food, but none recognisable. She leads us through a door and notice that instead of just tables there are kinda booths with curtains that pull around to make it more private. I notice Rukia just smiling casually and can't help but smile too.

"Please just press this button on the wall when you're ready to order." The girl says as we sit in the very end booth. The black leather chairs – forming two walls of the booth – on either side of the wooden table could only really fit one person on each. There is a button on the wall with the words 'assistance' above and also a white vase with deep red roses at the other end of the table. As the girl leaves she shuts the red curtains. For a second we're in the dark but when I accidentally flick a switch under the table lights come on built into the wooden table, filling the small closed off area with just enough light.

"It's really cute in here." Rukia giggles glancing at me before looking back to the menu.

"I guess so but Rukia you do know that this is the café which couples come to, to be like intimate and stuff." I ask feeling slightly odd telling her that. She looks up and gives me a small smile before shrugging.

"I didn't but oh well. I don't mind if they think we're here to be like that. They can think what they want but it doesn't mean it's true." She tells me before her eyes light up. "We should get this." She puts the menu on the table and points to a strange milkshake drink. It looks huge and is chocolate with chocolate heart sprinkles and whipped cream on top. I am about to ask what she meant by 'we' when I notice the two straws in the image. Not only has she lured me into this café but she wants to share a drink with me?

* * *

><p>-Rukia-<p>

I watch his glinting eyes analyse the drink I chose. I guess it's a bit weird for us to share a drink but he really is cute. He listened to me while we walked and didn't once interrupt but answered all my questions honestly.

"You do know you have to share this drink?" Kurosaki-Kun finally says turning the menu back to me.

"Yeah but it looks really nice. We could order too if you wanted or you could order another drink…" I start trying to clear the awkward aura surrounding us both.

"No its ok. I don't mind if you want to share a drink with me." He interrupts. I look at him shocked and slightly embarrassed which he notices and gives me a friendly smile. I look away from him and then back to him again.

"Kurosaki…"

"On one condition." He says and I look right into his eyes. "I get to share your desert too." He grins at me and I nod turning slightly red.

We both end up choosing different meals. He goes for a salmon steak with lemon and thick cut chips while I choose the steak with thin cut chips and a special house sauce. We then both agree to get the lovers sundae for desert. The way he folds his arm and leans them on the table while smiling at me makes me feel a little strange. I have the feeling that I've known Ichigo before and that he never acted this way before especially not with me.

* * *

><p>-Ichigo-<p>

She folded the menu shut and then asked if I was sure on what I wanted before she leaned across the table and pressed the button for assistance. I guess I'm taking advantage of the feelings I have for Rukia when she's in this way. She's acting so cute and everything that I can't keep acting like I don't care about her. We sit in silence before the curtains draw back and the girl who lead us here before smiles.

"Can I take your orders please?" She says with a smile.

"Can we have the chocolate milkshake to share please?" I say and the girl nods writing it down with a smile.

"Can I have the steaks with thin cut chips and can we share the lover's sundae desert please?" Rukia says leaning her elbows on the table and her head in her hands before looking across to me. "What do you want for your meal Onii-San?" She says blushing and I feel myself blush at the small fantasy way she called me her older brother.


	10. Chapter 10 Feelings

-Ichigo-

I feel my cheeks become enflamed and know for a fact I've now got a band of red going across my cheekbones. Rukia gives me a shy smile and I notice the redness in her cheeks too.

"I-I err…" I choke on all my words and so open the menu and point to my food instead. The girl smiles while writing it down.

"Don't be embarrassed you're not the first guy to ask his girlfriend to call him Onii-San." She says and before I can protest the closes the curtains walks away. I turn to face Rukia and she keeps her eyes on mine.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think." She whispers in a shy voice. "I won't say it anymore if you don't like it Onii-San." She promises looking at me for an answer.

"No, it's fine. It was just a shock, it's the first time you've called me that." There are two reasons why I agreed. The first is the fact that most guys would find it irresistible if a girl as cute as Rukia decided to call them that and I am no different but the more important reason was the look in her eyes. She looked so embarrassed and a little upset at the way I reacted and I didn't want her to be sad.

"Funny because you're already happily calling me by my first name as if we've been friends for years." She points out. Oh, I forgot she thinks this is our first meeting.

"Are you sure? It doesn't mean anything obviously. I just thought it would be fun to have a protective older brother." She continues with a sigh and part of me feels suddenly extremely guilty. She can't remember Byakuya, after everything he gave up to make her safe in the end and she can't even remember she has a brother. I open my mouth to tell her the truth but can't think of how I'd say it.

"I'm positive Kuchiki-San." I say and it sounds weird on my tongue to call her that. She may be different now but I still see her as Rukia, as my Rukia. The small but strong girl who loves rabbits and hates me saying anything against them. The girl who could easily punch me with no guilt and we'd both know I deserved it. She was Rukia Kuchiki and every time she came back more of her became mine.

* * *

><p>-Rukia-<p>

"Please just call me Rukia-Chan?" I beg and he nods with a smile.

The curtains draw back and the girl puts the huge milkshake in the centre of the table before nodding with her bright smile and telling us our food will be here soon. She leaves as fast as she came, enclosing us in our own world again.

"Onii-San I was wondering what your favourite animal is?" I chirp and he looks at me before giving a small smile.

"Anything but lions." He chuckles to himself and for some reason I think I should understand the joke more. "And yours are rabbits right?" He continues causing me to stare at him.

"How did you know?" I ask and he looks at me for a second with a serious face. His eyes looking straight into mine as if he's searching for something that he's lost.

"It was just a guess." He sighs but smiles at me all the same. He keeps thinking about thinks and fading away into his thoughts. I can't help but feel like every time he looks at me he's analysing every movement in an admiring way. The look in his eyes when he smiled at me shows a kind of adoration which I can't help but think means more than just finding me cute.

"Onii-San do you ever feel like you've forgot something really important?" I ask in a quiet voice. His eyes run over my face quickly before gazing back into mine.

"Like what?" He wonders.

"I don't know but I have this feeling that I'm seeing everything for the second time but the first time was such a long time ago. I keep having strange feelings like when we were back at mine and Orihime's house I had a feeling I'd seen all you guys before and that we were in the same place but the last time we were all joking around and just talking like old friends." I say and a shiver runs up my spine.

"Well that could be…" I look into his eyes and try to read what he's really thinking.

"Then there's you. I have this feeling that we were close and that I had something that I was keeping from you but I can't remember what it was. I just know somehow that in the pit of my heart there is you and thought I've never seen you until today I know that I have seen you somewhere before and that the last time I saw you I started to…" I cut off unable to say the words. It's ridiculous to think I once loved him unconditionally. But when I look into those brown eyes I feel it again, it's an aching feeling in my heart where so many things are missing. I just want to know what he know and I want to hear the truth because I wasn't wrong.

Back at Orihime's house, not our house, I know we have been there before and when we were back there I knew I loved him and knew I always would no matter what happened. He just looks directly back into my eyes waiting for me to continue but both of us know that I'm not going to.

* * *

><p>-Ichigo-<p>

We make brief conversation during the meal and both eat the desert in silence before Rukia presses the button again and we decide to split the cost in half though I did offer to pay for the whole thing. The girl showed up and we paid and then thanked her and left her a tip before leaving.

Rukia looks down at the floor as we walk. I guess we should just head back to Orihime's place. Rukia looks tired and sad. She needs to rest and I need to sort out my head. I know truly now that I love Rukia more than I love life. Since we met she was my everything but I could never accept that knowing we were different and she would always leave eventually. Not this time, a voice in the back of my head whispers. I push it away, I can't let the hollow inside my decide what to do. Its right that Rukia won't be leave until she gets her memories back and remembers she's a Soul Reaper and then she'll forget all about this, I'm sure of it.

_Then there is no harm in enjoying life with her now._ The voice whispers. I shake my head and try to ignore it.

I can't do that knowing she will forget the time we shared when she's better.

_The just never allow her to remember. You, well we, could make her happy here and she wouldn't remember having another life to go back to. She would just stay with you forever._ The voice coaxes in a smooth voice. The 'we' part was the main bit I didn't like. She deserves better than someone who has a whole other personality ready to take over at any moment. She deserves someone who can care for her and not be grumpy or selfish. Someone who would give her everything she needed and deserved.

I'm cute off by my phone ringing. I look at the number and sigh, Yuzu sure can cut through things sometimes. I answer and stop walking as she explains that they all want me back for a while. There were some noises coming from my room.

"I'll be right there." I say before cutting off the call.

"Is everything alright?" Rukia asks worriedly. She's worried about me?

"Yeah but I have to get straight home, I'll walk you to your house first though." I explain and a sad expression fills her face. She looks down shyly and murmurs something. "What?" I ask.

"Can't I go with you?" She speaks louder and my heart jolts. She looks up at me with a nervous expression. "It's just that I'd like to spend more time with you rather than go back straight away." She explains quickly.

"Rukia-Chan the thing is…" I stop when she looks away and takes in a deep breath.

"No I understand." She whispers.

"My family are a bit weird." I change the end of my sentence. "But I'm sure they'd love to meet you." I finish.

"Really?" She smiles turning back to look at me and I nod and point in the direction of my house while texting Yuzu with the excuse that Rukia has lost her memory after hitting her head. This sure is going to be a strange day.

* * *

><p>-Rukia-<p>

I'm so happy.

I don't remember ever being this happy but I am. As we entered the house his family all stood up. All three of them gave me warm smiles and introduced themselves politely. They seem to be such nice people but I couldn't help but feel Ichigo was getting irritated so he suggested we go upstairs and check out the noises in his room.

He opens the door slowly and steps inside looking around the room with a confused expression on his face which changes to anger as we both notice a plush lion sat on his bed.

"Kon! I told you not to speak when I'm out!" Ichigo hisses at the toy and I start to laugh but cut off when the toy stands up and blinks at me before it smiles and leaps into the air.

"Nee-San!" It yells and lands on my chest. I grab it and hold it away from me to analyse the thing.

"It can talk and move?" I question and glance at Ichigo who stiffens as if he'd just remembered something.

"Listen Rukia…"

"It's so cute!" I beam and hug the toy close to my chest. It looks up at me shocked but also as if it'd seen an angel. "What's your name?"

"Kon Nee-San." Kon tells me and I hug him tightly again kissing the top of his head. He's so cute and soft with his shining black eyes and soft stuffing.

"Right that's enough!" Ichigo snarls grabbing the toy and stuffing it into a draw before I can protest. He looks at me and all the anger fades from his face and he just sighs. "You can take him home if you want. I don't want him." He says as I just look at the draw in shock before looking back to Ichigo who nods at the bed and I sit down cautiously as he sits on his desk chair.

We talk for about an hour about different things but everything I learn about him I'm sure I knew and I'm positive he's pretending he doesn't know what my answers will be. He already knew my favourite animal and we both know that wasn't a guess. The whole time we talked the feeling of me loving him grew more and more like it was an old friend paying me a visit. The more we talked I also saw in his eyes the adoring look of love every time I smiled or laughed.

"Ichigo…" I cut in and he looks at me with a confused expression.

"What's wrong?" He asks in a worried voice.

"Before I told you that I had this feeling when I was with you and it's like I've known you a long time." He nods. "I might be wrong but every time you look at me your eyes are sad…"

"No Rukia…" He begins to protest.

"But also filled with so much emotion. Every time you have looked at me today I've told myself it isn't true but then you look at me again and I don't know why but I have this strange feeling." I stop and hang my head suddenly embarrasses about what I'm going to assume his eyes have been telling me.

Ichigo gets up and walks two steps before he bends his knees until he's at my height. He blows into my face gently and I blink before flicking my eyes up to meet his. Again they are filled with that sad look of having lost something but also the look of pure love clouded by this sad feeling. I just watch his eyes for a second before clearing my mind of everything but him, his eyes and me. He's so close I can feel each breath tickles my cheeks and each time he breathes out I blink.

"Rukia?" He asks worriedly before I lean forward.

I think of just him as I wrap my hands around his neck and lean my face towards his. I would shut my eyes if I could tear them away from his. I can see the shock clearly spinning but as my lips near his I just forget that. The feeling of once loving him is so strong it feels as if it's burning away my heart and leaving a space there.

"Rukia." He whispers in a pleading voice. His eyes seem to just give in as my mouth becomes a centimetre from his. Then he stands up so quickly I don't have time to remove my arms and so I stand up with him.

He puts his hands on either side of my hips and I stand on my tip toes ready to accept the strange feeling of love and adoration for him. I know somewhere that he is mine, my Ichigo Kurosaki who I will always love. Our mouths draw nearer again and I close my eyes and suddenly I drop back. Part of me becomes confused as why I'm lying on the bed and if this is going to fast until I realise that our lips never met and only I am on the bed. I sit up and Ichigo leans back against a tall wooden cupboard and just looks at me.

I was rejected. My heart aches as I try and search for the adoration that was in his eyes but it's replaced by shock but still tinged with sadness. I remember too clearly this feeling, the fear of my love for him and the fear I would be pushed away and it happened. I opened up and tried to show him how I felt without having to use words and he pushed me away.

"Rukia, you need to understand that…" He starts but I feel the tears falling out of my eyes and before he can say another word I run out of the room knowing I have to get home.


	11. Chapter 11 The Promise

-Ichigo-

I didn't know what to do but I knew that if she had kissed me in that second I would have listened to the other me and never let her go. I'd protect her from her old memories selfishly knowing that she could stay with me forever. When I pushed her back I saw the confusion on her face and shortly after the pain.

She runs out of the door and I open the draw and grab Kon before running after her. I need to tell her about who she really is. She can't be expected to remember by herself so I've got to tell her and make sure she knows how sorry I am.

I run out of the front door and notice she's stopped running. She's sat against a tall wall with her head hanging down and tears dropping from her hands covering her face. I walk up to her slowly and then bend down just like before. I hurt her, I made her cry and I can't take it back. She didn't do anything wrong, all day I've admittedly been taking advantage that she has no memories and have almost been leading her on. I never indicated that I liked her but she saw it in my eyes and when she opened up to me and accepted my feelings I rejected hers but I had too because she isn't the Rukia I used to know and the Rukia I first fell in love with doesn't love me. That gives me know right to admit my love to this other version of her and selfishly take away everything she did have.

"Rukia-Chan? I understand you're annoyed at me but I need you to listen to me because I need to tell you I'm so sorry." Her shoulders shake and she tries to hold back the tears when she hears me speak but she keeps her hands over her face and I don't blame her. Even though almost everything about her has changed she still doesn't seem to want to look weak in front of other people. She is still as beautiful and as strong.

"Please Rukia…" I start in a soft voice.

"Ichigo?" She whispers in a pained voice. I reach out my hand and touch her arm gently to let her know I'm here.

"It's ok Rukia-Chan I'm right here." I tell her and her hands rub her eyes roughly before she takes a deep breathe but I notice her lip quiver.

"Ichigo!" She takes her arms away from her face and then throws herself at me. Her arms wrap around my neck and she buries her face into my shoulder and starts to cry again. I wrap my arms around her blinking away the tears in my own eyes. So many times I've dreamed of her burying her face in my shoulder and gripping onto me like she has nothing to lose. So many times I've wanted to wrap my arms around her and take away all the pain I know she feels and when it finally happens it's a different Rukia and I'm the one who caused her the pain.

We sit there with her crying into my shoulder for about an hour. It started raining after twenty minutes and so I took off my jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders in an attempt to keep her dry. We don't move all the same and just allow the rain to soak us both. After about fifty five minutes her crying turned into small sobs and just this second she's fallen asleep.

"Ichigo!" I voice yells and I look back up the road to see Yuzu, Karin and my dad.

"You're gonna get ill!" Karin yells in a worried but stern tone.

"Bring Rukia inside!" Yuzu calls and I just nod before looking down at Rukia. Her fingers still gripping onto the back of my shirt as she sleeps and the tears streaks are still visible against her pale skin.

I weave one of my arms under her legs and tuck her close to my chest with Kon snuggled against her. I stand up and start walking slowly towards the house. Karin, Yuzu and my dad all go inside and I can tell already they're gonna be at battle stations to try and help Rukia. Though I saw that they noticed this is more than memory loss they all still love her like family and so they're still going to stop at nothing to help her.

As soon as I enter the house Yuzu is cooking some kind of stew while Karin and dad are finishing making a bed on the sofa. I walk to the sofa and am about to put her down when Karin yells at me to stop.

"She needs to change Ichigo or she'll get ill. Let me take her upstairs and get her dry and changed." Karin orders and though I want to just get her warm in bed I know she needs to be changed and there is no way I can do it. Yuzu dashes out of the kitchen and her and Karin both manage to take a half asleep Rukia upstairs despite her shaking.

My dad looks at me for an explanation to what is going on with Rukia when I fall to my knees. I wipe my face with my soaking sleeve though it makes no difference and as my dad stands watching me. I clamber back onto my feet and look at him. He glances at the picture of my mum on the wall and opens out his arms and though I wish I was a child and could fall into them I shake my head and just stay stood facing him while the tears fall down my cheeks. My silent tears turn into sobs and after only a few minutes I can't stop crying.

"Ichigo when I lost your mum…" My dad starts.

"I didn't lose her. I never had her in the first place but then it happened and she's changed and now she loves me but I hurt her so much. She cried in my arms for almost an hour and I couldn't take away the pain I'd caused." I yell angrily. Not at him but at myself.

"Son, it is not your fault." My dad assures me.

"It is my fault, I spent the whole afternoon acting like nothing had changed. Acting as if she was the old Rukia, the Rukia I love so much, and because of that she loves me too but I can't be that selfish dad! I can't ruin her life just to satisfy my love for her." I drop to my knees again with my fists clenched.

"Whatever has happened to her is not your fault and no one can blame you for still loving her even if she's changed because she still is Rukia and being in love with someone means you love all of them whether they change or not." My dad uses a stern but soothing tone as I manage to reduce my cries into deep quaking breathes.

"But if I let her love me now I'll either end up destroying the old her but get to be with her or I can help her get her memories back and I will have my old Rukia back but I will throw away my chance with her." I say and look at my dad for guidance to see tears in his eyes as he glances from the picture of my mum to me.

* * *

><p>-Rukia-<p>

I hear the soft voices explaining everything to me gently why I'm also stripped. I open my eyes but everything is blurry. I blink a few times and look down at the different pairs of hands holding my arms and guiding me into a hot bath.

"Rukia, it's Karin and Yuzu, Ichigo's sister. You're going to get ill if you don't have a warm bath." I look at the girl with brown hair so light it's almost a golden blonde. She gives me and small smiles and without thinking I step into the bath and sit down, tucking my knees to my chest.

Yuzu slowly pours small mugful's of water over my hair while Karin hands her shampoo and other things like conditioner before handing me some soap which I hold between my hands which are slowly stopping shaking. I stay in the bath while Yuzu washes my hair but then she stands up and steadies me as I climb out of the bath while Karin wraps a towel around me from behind and rubs my back gently. I feel like a little girl being taken care of by aunties but part of me feels like this isn't the first time Karin and Yuzu have had to look after me and it won't be the last.

"Let's get you something to wear." Yuzu suggests as we leave the room. I automatically walk down the hall and into a room I recognise. Ichigo's room is dark until I turn on the light switch.

"Oh I guess Ichigo won't mind you wearing something of his but we'll have to lend you some underwear while yours dries." Karin says softly as she opens his draws and starts routing. My mind feels numb and I can't remember why I'm here but I remember crying and running and then Ichigo. He came and he stayed with me.

"Here we go." Yuzu says as I automatically change into the plain white underwear she hands me and then I put both my arms out and they help me slide my arms into the sleeves of a plain white shirt before they button all the buttons up. The sleeves hang over my hands and the shirt falls to a few inches higher than my knees but it's clean and smells like him.

"Ok now let me just plug this in." Yuzu says and a second later I hear the sound of a hairdryer and the soft blow of warm air through my hair. I think back to earlier. I ran out of the room but I don't remember why and I was crying but then Ichigo found me and he told me he was here for me. I feel my lips twitch and then the dryer turns off.

"Ok so you're all…" Karin starts.

"Where's Ichigo?" I ask.

"He's just downstairs in the…" I miss the last part as I again run out of the room, along the hall and then run down the stairs knowing for some reason I need to see him.

* * *

><p>-Ichigo-<p>

She pauses at the bottom of the stairs and to my surprise is wearing one of my plain white shirts. I flush slightly as her leg bends and the shirt lifts slightly higher up her leg. Her hair looks cleans and only slightly damp and she's no longer shaking.

"Ichigo!" She smiles and then runs towards me. She crashed into me, wrapping her arms around my waist, and buries her face into my chest. She inhales deeply and then lets out a happy sigh. I automatically wrap my arms around her in a protective way and rest my chin on the top of her head. I can't help but to inhale and smell her hair.

"Rukia you need to get into bed and eat something, you're going to become ill if you don't get warm." Yuzu orders from the stairs where her and Karin stand.

"Ichigo your bath's ready." Karin tells me and I let my arms drop form around Rukia and am about to move but her arms stay around me and her face still buried into my chest.

"Rukia, I need to go have a bath ok?" I say gently and she tips her head back and looks at me with a kind of panic and sadness in her violet eyes.

"Please don't leave me." She begs and I stare at her in shock. She clings onto me like a helpless child. "Please stay with me Ichigo. I beg you, just don't ever leave me!" She pleads. I should push her away like I did before and I should tell her everything but the young look in her eyes makes me feel so much love for her my heart aches.

"I'll never leave you. I promise you Rukia that I will always be there for you when you need me and I will never leave you alone." I say and she gives me a nod and takes a step back from me but as I head up stairs it only takes a second before another pair of footsteps come up after me.

I end up in the bath with her wrapped in a quilt leaning on the outside of the door. She doesn't say much but every now and again says my name as if checking I'm still there. Each time her voice becomes softer and each time I love her a bit more. I get out of the bath and change into the knee length black pants and baggy white shirt I usually sleep in. I open the door and she falls back into a lying position on the floor.

I shake my head and walk to her feet before grabbing both her hands in mine and pulling her to her feet. We go downstairs and Yuzu serves us both some hot stew which we eat in silence apart from a few yawns escaping Rukia's mouth. After eating Yuzu tells us she made Rukia a bed on my floor and so we both head upstairs and straight into my room.

"I'm right here if you need me." I say after she refused to swap beds with me and have me sleep on the floor. She nods and pulls the quilt over her before hugging Kon close to her. I'm surprised at the fact he doesn't say or do anything perverted but I know he has noticed the change in her and so he just lies there by her while she sleeps.

I fall asleep pretty quickly and the day replays in my mind. That morning I was so sure that I'd have some answers but everything changes when she came out of Orihime's room. It was like my heart recognised her more than I did because it fell for the new her much faster than I would have thought. I thought I'd be able to concentrate on helping her because she wasn't the Rukia I knew but really now I see she is still Rukia and I'll love her in every form.

I jump awake when a hand touches my arm gently. I look at Rukia and she stands by my bed looking down at me cutely. I roll over to my side to face her and then sit up and look at her for a second. She watches me with her violet eyes and then gently pushes me slightly closer to the wall before she pulls back my quilt and then climbs under the quilt next to me.

I stare at her in shock as she pulls the quilt back over us and rolls over to face me before tugging on the sleeve of my shirt until I lay down next to her. We face each other, both of us on our sides, with her hands pressed together and placed cutely under her head.

"Rukia what are you..?" I start.

"I had a nightmare about these things with horrible white masks and holes in their chests. I was there and they were chasing me but before they got me you came and you had this sword and you split the creature in half and saved me." She whispers, her warm breath blowing against my neck. Hollows, she dreamt about me as a Soul Reaper and hollows.

"They won't get you." I tell her.

"Do you promise? You won't let them get me Ichigo?" She says shaking.

"I promise that I'll protect you." I promise to her with a small smile.

She smiles at me and then takes her hands from under her head and rests one between us. Her left arm weaves under my right and around my waist. My shirt crinkled up slightly allowing her left arm to slide under it and her cold skin against mine. She pulls herself slightly closer to me, so we're only around four inches apart, my body relaxes when she closes her eyes and I watch her for a while she sleeps. Her arm stays wrapped around my waist the whole time and her other hand ends up holding loosely onto the front of my shirt. I watch her and though am slightly uncomfortable can't help but smile. I've never been this close to her before and I don't mind it one bit.


	12. Chapter 12 Soul Society

-Ichigo-

When I wake up I notice straight away my arms around her. She must have rolled over in the night and unconsciously I wrapped both my arms around her waist and am currently also aware she is being help close by me. I nearly jump out of my skin when she rolls over and her left arm reweaves itself back around my waist. I stay silent but smile at the idea that we're just holding each other.

There's a knock at the door and I think about moving to get the door but Rukia's arm tightens around me. I give a sigh though it's a sigh of relief. I have the feeling when we leave this position we won't ever be like this again. Content in just holding each other.

"Come in." I yawn blowing gently into Rukia's face. I smile when her eyes flutter a bit.

"Morning Ichigo, we came by to see if Rukia's…" Orihime's voice cuts off at the sight of me and Rukia. She steps to the side and Renji, Chad and Uryuu step into the room and all four of them stare at us.

"I told you we shouldn't have left her with him." Renji hisses to the others.

"No it's not what you think." I try and persuade them. Rukia pulls me closer to her with a smile.

"Onii-San who are you talking to?" She smiles brightly.

"Rukia-Chan not now." I say in a stern but gentle voice.

"Onii-San? Rukia-Chan? How close did you guys become yesterday?" Uryuu asks though surprisingly him and Chad look more pleased and relieved then the same annoyed and betrayed looks of Orihime and Renji.

Rukia sits up and I notice Orihime and Renji's eyes blaze at the same time. I suddenly become conscious of my arms still wrapped tightly around. Rukia gives me a tired smile which fades when I pull my arms away and sit up.

"Oh don't get the wrong idea Onii-Chan, I don't mind." She says in a sweet but slightly flirty voice.

"Rukia-Chan please just keep quiet for a minute or two." I beg and she gives me a moody look but I just look past her at the others with a small gulp.

* * *

><p>-Rukia-<p>

I said I couldn't be happier but I truly am. Waking up to the bright smile of Ichigo while his arms were wrapped around me was an amazingly happy thing. I look over my shoulder and jump at the four who must have just arrived.

"Morning Orihime-Chan." I yawn with a smile at her. She gives me an annoyed look and I flinch. "Did I do something bad Orihime-Chan? Oh Renji-Kun looks annoyed too." I notice.

"Just answer me Rukia, did you stay with Ichigo all night?" Orihime says seriously.

"Well I slept on the floor for a few hours but then woke up because I had a nightmare and so I got into Ichigo's bed." I explain with a small glance at Ichigo. He nods in agreement.

"Rukia, Ichigo didn't like touch you at all last night did he?" Renji asks.

"You've got to be kidding me." Ichigo protests.

"No, he was hugging me when I woke up but it's fine because last night I held him too." I say with a shy smile but they look at me still with an annoyed expression. I turn my whole body round and then shuffle back slightly while watching them before turning to Ichigo.

I wind my arms around his waist and embrace him warmly. I don't understand why they are angry at me? I didn't do anything wrong did I? All I did was stay in a bed with Ichigo because I was scared and I knew he would protect me. He promised he would and today I'm fine.

"You didn't do anything wrong." Ichigo promises wrapping his arms around me and pulling me closer to him in a protective embrace. I smile and inhale deeply.

"You always smell good." I tell him and he laughs.

"You too." He replies and then gently kisses the top of my head. A shock goes through me so fast I feel like my heart set fire. I pull back and look up at him with red cheeks. He smiles down at me and I fall back into the embrace again. Ichigo pulls me onto his knee and I rest my head against his chest smiling. He kissed me for the first time.

* * *

><p>-Ichigo-<p>

I love her unconditionally. I can do both to be fair, I can help her get her memories back and spend as much time with her now as possible. If I find a way to cure her she won't be able to stop me giving it to her. I can cope with the pain of her not remembering the days I showed my love for her. I don't care because I just want her to be as happy now as she usually was back then. If I make her happy then I'll stay with her until the day she's cured no matter what pain I'll feel after.

"Rukia you can't just get into other peoples beds." Renji tells her and I open my mouth to protest but Uryuu cuts in.

"Not to put your theory down but I'm pretty sure if it bothered Ichigo he would have told her and Rukia would have coped being on the floor but considering they did share a bed, I'd say they both aren't really bothered." Uryuu argues and Renji glares at him.

"What would you know? Ichigo is taking advantage of the fact that she has no memories and he using that so he can be close to her." Renji argues back. The truth does hurt I'll admit but I don't care because the raise of Renji's voice caused Rukia to hold onto my shirt tightly.

"Hey leave Uryuu alone." Orihime says to our surprise. She turns red as we all look at her and Uryuu gives her a smile. I've not seen him use that smile with anyone but her.

"So you think it's fine they shared a bed?" Renji snarls.

"Rukia and Ichigo said nothing happened and I believe them. If it did it would be none of our business anyway. If they ended up sleeping together then that was their choice but I don't think Ichigo would take things that far." Orihime replies in a cold tone. We all look at Renji and he glares back at each of us but his eyes soften when they meet Rukia's.

"Rukia, the thing is Ichigo is a lot stronger then you and if he wanted to go further you might not be able to stop him…" Renji says and I glance at Rukia who looks at me adoringly.

"I don't care." She interrupts turning red. "Ichigo is really kind and amazing and I know if we wanted to go that far he would never force it upon me." She turns to Renji and then slides off my lap and walks over to him.

"That's not what you'd usually say." He hisses.

"I don't understand what you mean? I am me and I only met you yesterday. There is no other Rukia and if there was wouldn't she love the same person exactly the same. If there was another me then wouldn't she adore Ichigo as much as I do?" She asks and Renji stares at her.

"Rukia…" I start and stand up.

"There is only one me and the only thing I'm sure of is that I love Ichigo…" She begins.

"No you don't Rukia. You are a Soul Reaper in squad 13. You had a sister who died and you live with Byakuya Kuchiki because he was your sister's husband. We grew up together and trained together. You only met Ichigo slightly over a year ago and you give off the impression that you hate him. You think he's stupid and immature and everything you don't need!" Renji yells. Rukia's eyes fill with tears.

"That's not true. I live here with Orihime and I go to school with her and Tatsuki…" Tatsuki? How did she remember Tatsuki? "And I love Ichigo more than anything else. I love his family and I love rabbits, I love Ichigo's stuffed lion Kon because he's so cute."

"No you don't you are Rukia Kuchiki from the house of nobles and you live with your brother Byakuya and you certainly do not love Ichigo Kurosaki. When we find a way to get your memories back you probably won't even remember loving him!" Renji snarls at her.

"Then I don't want them!" She yells back.

"Rukia-Chan…" I reach out to her and she steps back into my arms with tears streaming down her face.

"I want this life, with Orihime and Tatsuki as my best friends and I want to love Ichigo." She spins around and looks at me. "I don't want to not love you. I want to love you until the day I die." She breaks into sobs and flings her arms around me. I sit back on the bed with my arms around her.

"Please don't give them me back. Don't make me forget this." She begs over and over. I blink back the tears in my eyes and tighten my arms around her.

"I can't do that." I whisper and she cries even more.

"Why?" She pulls away and rubs her hands through my hair. She looks at me with tears in her eyes. "Do you not want this? Do you not want me to love you and be there for you?" She chokes.

"I will always want this." I promise her and a few tears break out from my eyes. She looks at me and uses one of her hands to wipe away the tears gently. "I won't ever not want this but I won't steal you from your old life for my own selfish reasons."

"But this is what I want. I want to be happy with you. You promised to protect me and I want to protect you. I don't want them back if they'll cause you pain." She pleads.

"Rukia, I can handle the pain because just knowing I gave you back your happy life is good enough for me to be happy." I say but the tears running down my cheeks are unconvincing.

"Ichigo, how could I have been truly happy without this feeling in my heart when I'm near you? Will I lose this feeling of pure happiness when I'm around you like it never existed?" She asks and I stay silent. Her arms wrap back around my neck and we just look into each other's streaming eyes and both of us know now that this feeling had to fade eventually.

* * *

><p>-Rukia-<p>

I watch the tears drip from his beautiful eyes and feel ill. I don't want my other life back without Ichigo. In that old life did he ever hold me like he is now? Did I ever climb into his bed and let him wrap his arms around me? Did I see the adoration in his eyes when I smiled or laughed?

"Rukia…" He whispers and without thinking I lean forward. He doesn't push me away but instead holds onto me tighter and closes his crying eyes. Our lips meet gently and I let out a small sob. I start to pull away but his lips find mine again and I can't escape. I can taste the salt from both our tears in my mouth and every few seconds we'd pull away but then let our lips find the others again. His lips are soft and gentle against mine but my eyes still stream knowing this may be the last time I ever feel his lips on mine.

He pulls away and it seems like too soon but both our eyes open at the same time and we just look at each other, both of us feeling the same kind of heart ache. He pulls me closer to him and I bury my face into his shoulder and he buried his face into my hair and we both stay like that, despite the other four in the room, until we both stop crying.

"We need to go to the Soul Society." Ichigo says looking up but then curses and when I look up too Renji's gone.

* * *

><p>-Ichigo-<p>

We walk towards Kisuke's hand in hand but don't speak at all. I left Kon at home in my body and we left Rukia's gigai with Chappy in. Though Rukia was surprised she came along with me all the same.

Chad had to leave but Uryuu and Orihime both came alone, walking side by side, and also walking in silence. When we reach the door and open it Kisuke already knows about the situation and agree right away to get us into the Soul Society.

Half an hour later we are walking along the barracks of squad 13. Rukia's squad when she could remember she was a Soul Reaper. It looks empty around these parts but I guess when you're Captains sick things would get a bit hectic especially if he couldn't remember that they were a Captain.

"I think we should head over to see Captain Kurotsuchi encase he's been monitoring the situation." Uryuu suggests and I nod in agreement and then hold onto Rukia tightly.

"Listen I'm going to use the flash step now so hold onto me tightly ok." I look at Orihime and Uryuu and they both nod. Rukia grabs onto my hand tightly before Orihime holds onto Rukia and Uryuu holds onto Orihime.

I flash step about four times and manage to make it to the centre of Squad twelve's barracks and after walking for quite a while actually we find his lab. I knock on the door and a second later Nemu appears beside us and looks us all over.

"What brings you here Ichigo Kurosaki?" She asks.

"We want to help." I reply and she glances at the door before nodding. It opens enough for us to fit through and then we follow her through different rooms and down different tunnels until she asks us to wait and disappears through a door. She appears a few minutes later and nods her head allowing us to enter. Rukia grips my hand slightly tighter and I give he a reassuring smile before we go through the door.

* * *

><p>-Orihime-<p>

Captain Kurotsuchi spins around and looks over all of us with an irritated expression on his face. His eyes scan over Rukia and then he frowns.

"She has the disease. She is a danger to all our welfare." He comments looking at Ichigo.

"Well she's staying with me." Ichigo insists and Kurotsuchi just sighs and then appears before us. He looks over us all again with a blank expression on his face.

"So you want some information I presume?" He guesses and we all nod.

"I want to know about this illness that's spreading. I know the first two stages but I want to know what else happens." Ichigo gets straight to the point.

"Well first I will tell you what the purpose was meant to be. I created an illness which could be spread to people who spend a lot of time with you. The illness would start as a fever and then build up to make you not only forget everything but your personality would change and you would start to believe different facts about yourself." He begins.

"We knew that." Uryuu points out.

"That isn't what is so amazing about the illness though. After a while memories would start to appear as nightmares to the person and they would become scared of those things. They would become so scared of them that each memory was less likely to become a reality and so there was less change of them regaining their memories." He continued.

"What was its purpose?" I ask and Kurotsuchi looks at me.

"The purpose was for me to give the illness to allies of enemies or their subjects and they would forget ever working for that person and might even go against them. Then we would monitor their dreams for any clues of how to defeat the enemy." He tells me.

"How can you cure the disease?" Ichigo finally asks.

"That's the best thing about it for us. You can only cure the illness by killing the person who first allowed the illness to be given. The problem now is that this research was stolen and we would just kill the person but we don't know who it is. So far the Captains infected Ukitake, Byakuya, Shunsui and the four lieutenants being Nanao, Rangiku, Isane and Yachiru are quite well liked and have lots of visitors and friends who could have given them the illness."

"But it started with Ukitake." Ichigo points out and I nod.

"Exactly but lots of people like Ukitake and lots of people walk past him or have visited him or been given orders by him. As you can see we are pretty much investigating the whole of the Soul Society but from how fast it's progressed I'd say Ukitake was given at least half of the liquid that the illness was contained in though that bottle could easily infect six people." Kurotsuchi sighs and scratches his head before he looks at us.

"So how many people have been found innocent so far?" I ask,

"Seven in total and that's because they are the infected. The person who first started the illness can't be affected by it so we'd have to wait until everyone was ill before we knew who it was and then we wouldn't even remember that we were ill and wouldn't do anything about it." He sighs.

* * *

><p>-Rukia-<p>

We leave after hearing that information but I just can't see it. I'm sure I would remember something about this life, whether it was people or places, even names. Ichigo kept shaking his head in disbelief but honestly I don't mind. If we never find this person and they don't die then we can stay together.

"Rukia before we go on our search I want to take you to visit someone who you don't remember but it'd be good for you I think." Ichigo tells me and I give a nod before he flash steps us all outside what seems to be a hospital.

"Ichigo." I woman with her long black hair plaited around her front says and approaches us.

"It's great to see you Unohanna." Ichigo smiles.

"Rukia?" She questions and I give a small nod.

"It's nice to meet you Unohanna-Chan." I say and the woman smiles at me.

"We're here to see Byakuya." Ichigo explains and she nods.

"That's great, he hasn't had many visitors though he can't remember any of them. He really has changed." Unohanna tells Ichigo with a smile and I remember the name as we follow the woman. Byakuya was Byakuya Kuchiki and he was the brother I can't remember.


	13. Chapter 13 Truth Revealed

-Byakuya-

I sit staring out of the window before looking at the framed picture of Hisana on my lap. She truly was beautiful and yet just like a rose, she eventually wilted. I sigh looking back out of the window over viewing what I've been told is squad fours barracks. I don't like the idea of what they told me, this other me sounds cold and distant but I'm curious to meet me forgotten sister Rukia Kuchiki.

A knock at the door interrupt my thoughts and I look up. The room is painted plain white with light wood floorings and a white bed. It looks too much like a hospital for my liking. The door opens to reveal Unohanna-Chan who gives me a warm smile.

"Good morning Byakuya-Sama." Unohanna smiles walking over to my bed and placing the back of her hand against my forehead. She chuckle lightly.

"What's so funny Unohanna-Chan?" I wonder.

"You'd usually refuse treatment like this. Though people may say you were distant I truly believe that's because you were strong and full of pride. I respected you then as much as I do now." She tells me and I smile half-heartedly. She heads to the door and I'm quite sad to see her go. She is one of the only people who visits me mainly due to the chaos in the Soul Society.

"Are you leaving so soon?" I question and she gives me a nod before she looks over her shoulder at me with a smile.

"I must tend to Ukitake-Kun and Shunsui-San." She reminds me and I nod with a small smile. "But don't worry about it Byakuya-Same, you have some visitors actually. I think you'll be happily surprised to see who." She says giving me a small wink before leaving the room but leaving the door open.

Two figures step in first. One a male with black hair and glasses and the other a female with long dark orange hair with glinting blue hair slides. Both of them seem slightly familiar. Then two more enter and my heart beats a little faster.

The male stands admiringly looking at me with his brown eyes. His hair is bright orange and spiky and he is quite familiar but the thing which makes me gasp is the girl stood next to him, holding tightly onto his arm. Her black hair falls to her shoulders and then waves off in bangs and one single thick black strand of hair falls between her violet eyes. She looks just like Hisana-Chan.

"Good afternoon." The male with the orange hair says and glances down at the girl who glances back up at him with a sparkle in her eyes. I am about to greet them back but I can't seem to find the words and so instead I clear my throat.

"Rukia-Chan?" I ask and her violet eyes meet mine.

* * *

><p>-Rukia-<p>

The first thing I notice is how handsome the young man is. His long black hair and cloudy but kind eyes. He sits by the open window in his recovery bed with a picture on his lap that I quite can't see. I feel nervous but when he says my name I realise he has been told about me just like I have him.

"It's nice to meet you Kuchiki-Kun." I say bowing my head and he gives a small chuckle.

"They told me you looked just like her but I would have never imagined that you resembled her so much." He tells me with a strained smile.

"Hisana-Sama?" I question and he gives a small nod.

"Would you like to see her picture?" He asks and I nod and step towards his bed but stop when Ichigo doesn't move. I look back at him and give a shy smile before tugging on his arm. He sighs slightly but smiles back and walks by my side to the side of the bed. I look down at the picture in his lap and notice how beautiful she looks. She looks so kind and so young.

"You really do look like her." Ichigo comments and I flush slightly red and then glance up to see Byakuya looking at me kindly. I smile at him warmly before standing up straight and looking at Ichigo.

"Ichigo, what did I used to call Byakuya-Kun?" I ask turning slightly red.

"You usually called him Nii-Sama." Ichigo smiles down at me adoringly and I smile back and then look at Byakuya.

"I'm sorry I don't remember you Nii-Sama." I say in a small voice and he smiles before touching my arm gently with his fingertips. I smile brightly looking at my brother. I already feel drawn to him in a strange way. It's like my heart recognises what my brain doesn't.

"If it weren't for me getting this illness we'd both be able to remember each other now. I am sorry Rukia-Chan for forgetting that I had such a special sister and I regret forgetting you but I can't wait until this is over and I can have my memories back of you." He says kindly patting my arm. I smile down at him thinking the same thing.

* * *

><p>-Ichigo-<p>

"I understand now." Rukia tells me as walk toward the place Rukia was going to be executed that long time ago.

We stayed for around ten minutes before Rukia said we had to leave and Byakuya nodded in an understanding way before we left and just walked in silence. The whole time I've had the strange feeling we're being watched. I don't know what it is but after just ten minutes of walking I guess Rukia felt it too because she moved slightly closer to me and held onto my hand tightly.

"Understand what?" I ask going back to her statement.

"I understand that you're giving me back my memories no matter how hard it is on you because you care so much about me." She tells me and I nod.

"What made you change your mind?" I wonder aloud.

"I haven't changed my mind. If I had my choice I would happily stay with you forever." She sighs looking up at me before back at the floor. "But Nii-Sama really wants to remember me again and so even though losing this feeling for you will kill me while I go back, I will help you so Nii-Sama will be happy again." She looks up and we both stop walking. Orihime and Uryuu went to visit Rangiku at the hospital in the hope she may remember them. For now it is just the two of us and it may be the last time.

Rukia turns to stand in front of me and wraps both her arms around my waist before burying her head in my chest. I let out a deep breath and lean my chin on her head while wrapping my arms around her tightly. She inhales deeply, like she has every time we've embraced so far, and smile before tipping her head up. I cup her face in my hands and she stands on her tip toes before our lips gently meet. The same sweet sensation burns through my veins as if my heart is well aware that it's Rukia's soft lips against mine. Her arms tighten around me and I feel her lips curve into a smile next to mine.

"Honestly Ichigo, you just had to come here." An angry voice snarls. I pull away from Rukia and let my arms drop back around her again in a protective way and turn my head to see the owner of the voice.

Renji leans against Zabimaru with his eyes full of anger and his smile dark and possessive. Just the way he looks between me and Rukia and a look of disgust crosses his faces makes me hold her tighter in an attempt to make her feel safer. She rests her head against my chest and her hands grip onto the back of my clothes.

"Renji, what are you doing here and what do you mean?" I ask him calmly.

"It wasn't meant to be like this. Everyone was meant to get ill, everyone but me and her." He snarls gesturing towards Rukia. "She would have been pushed away by everyone but found comfort in only me and from there our relationship would have worked out fine."

"Renji are you saying you started the illness?" I ask only slightly surprised but also slightly jealous on how he was implying Rukia felt about him and what their relationship had been.

"Well done Ichigo, you're not as stupid as I thought." He cackles with a smirk at me. "You know Byakuya found out too but by then he was already getting ill. I started with Ukitake so no one would suspect a thing and then spread it to Byakuya because he took her away from me!" He kicks the ground while pointing at Rukia and I feel her body shiver next to mine.

"Then the stupid man caught on and ordered Rukia to be sent away so my plan wouldn't work. He knew I wouldn't get it and never sent for me to leave but as soon as his fever got too bad I told everyone he asked me to watch over Rukia." Renji hisses.

"Then she got ill and I knew my plans were failing but then when she woke up with a new sweet personality I knew I could get used to it and still be with her. Then she saw you and straight away you took the advantaged and wooed her into loving you." Renji accuses.

"We all know that's a lie Renji but I don't understand. What would you have done if everyone got ill and you ran away with Rukia but then she never fell in love with you?" I hiss back.

"She wouldn't have had many options by then Ichigo and I'd make her love me. It wouldn't be too difficult I mean she's just a young woman, eventually she would give in." Renji cackles again. I feel the anger inside me and I no longer feel guilty about having to kill him. He was going to force himself upon Rukia, my Rukia, and I would have never known. He could have got away with doing anything to her and no one would care enough to help.

"Rukia move back ok?" I say trying to keep my voice calm. Renji smirks and grabs Zabimaru's handle before pointing the blade towards me.

"Don't do this Ichigo. I'm not ready yet, I want more time with you." She begs as I gently push her away.

"There won't be another chance like this. I will fight for you Rukia because you deserve someone who will always fight for you." I tell her as she unwillingly takes more and more steps back with worry plastered to her face. I turn back to Renji and grab Zangetsu's handle before matching Renji and pointing the blade towards him. I need to end this fast, if I get too injured I won't be able to stop him and that'd leave Rukia defenceless against this maniac. If he hurt her she might be too scared to tell the other about Renji and then his plan would eventually work.

"Bankai!" We both say at the same time and the ground shakes with the rising of spiritual pressure from the both of us.

I suddenly dodge to the right as the giant skeleton snake head of Zabimaru flies towards me. I run towards Renji but then jump in the air as Zabimaru curls back around and shoots at me. I land on the skeleton head and use the opportunity to slash Renji's right shoulder before I'm flicked into the air by a quick movement of his arm.

I land with a crash and jump to my feet as Zabimaru comes towards me at full speed. I must admit its speed has increased as far as I could tell. The movement much smoother and more in control making it harder to dodge.

We fight none stop for half an hour. I take countless hits but every now and again slash at Renji. Though he is getting weaker every time I don't dodge quite fast enough I'm sure I'm getting more damaged then he is. I skid to a halt to catch my breath before looking across to Renji also panting.

"Give up yet Kurosaki?" He cackles.

_You could always use me you know._ The inner hollow inside whispers silkily.

"I can't. You'll take over." I think aloud.

_But you could finish this quickly and safe Rukia. I mean look at her over there._ I glance to the side and Rukia watches me with pained eyes and worry still on her face. _Wouldn't it be easier to use me and safe her then get beaten to death and leave her alone here with him?_ The voice asks and before I can protest the mask starts growing across my face. I grab at it but it doesn't stop until it's covered the whole of my face and turned my eyes black.


	14. Chapter 14 It's Over

-Rukia-

I watch my feelings of worry tinged with fear as the mask consumes his face. It's the same type of haunting mask those creatures had on their faces in my dream. Both Ichigo and Renji look weak but when Ichigo dashes forward he seems to be stronger with the mask.

He dashes side to side dodging the skeleton head easily and then slashes Renji across the chest. Renji lets out a cry of pain and anger and I throw my hands over my ears. Could this other me cope with these screams? Did this other me inflict this type of pain on people? Was this other me slightly scared of the mask on Ichigo's face?

"I could stop him." I whisper to myself. "I could happily give up the strong old me but I can't knowing that my brother just wants to remember me." I glance back to the fight as Ichigo skids to a halt and turns to a panting Renji.

"Getsuga Tenshō!" Ichigo yells and a black beam outlined with red fires at Renji. I watch in shock as Renji is flung back and scrapes along the floor.

Ichigo appears beside him and looks down at him through the eyes of his mask and breathes heavily. He aims the blade at Renji's chest and I know he's going to kill him. I don't think as I start stumbling towards them knowing that if this battle ends now then I will turn back into this other me and never remember the time I spent loving Ichigo.

* * *

><p>-Ichigo-<p>

"I'm truly sorry it was you Renji." I tell him, my voice evil and twisted. He chokes with an evil smile.

"If you were truly sorry you would leave me alive." Renji cackles know too well I can't do that. I stare down at him and sigh at what he has become. The first time I met this idiot I hated him and then the second time I still hated him until he explained what he really wanted. I grew to know his as a friend and he betrayed everyone.

"Ichigo!" A soft voice calls but I don't glance up knowing she'll try and stop me. Instead and pierce Zangetsu through Renji's chest. He lets out a choke before he lies still on the ground.

I'm about to turn to Rukia when an explosion of lilac light explodes from Renji's body before fading into white wisps of smoke. I grab at the hollow mask and pull it away from my face. It fades into nothing and I'm grateful to my inner hollow. He could have taken me over but instead he allowed me to win this one.

"Ichigo?" Rukia's soft voice asks and I turn around to look at her. I re-sheaf Zangetsu and fade out of my Bankai form but never take my eyes of hers.

"It's over now." I tell her and she starts gently shaking and tears run down her cheeks. She gives a small nod and weak smile as an agreement.

"I really am going to forget everything aren't I?" She asks as if finally accepting the truth.

"Yeah, you'll probably forget everything about the time you were like this." I admit, my voice cracking. She stumbles a few steps forward before falling into my open arms. She clings onto me and cries again and slowly tears begin to run down my own cheeks. I'll miss this so much, being able to hold her without her ever wanting to pull away, being able to kiss the top of her head and her to just smile in return. I'll miss her loving me and I'll miss being able to love her.

"I don't see how I can't love you. I wasn't ready to give all this up yet." She chokes between sobs and I nod kissing the top of her head twice.

"Don't worry about it. I don't blame you for not loving me back then but I'm grateful you loved me even for a few days." I say and she tips her head back to look at me.

"The worst thing is I won't even miss this. I won't remember ever being held by you or kissed by you. I won't remember how much you loved me." She whispers and I look down at her with a soft smile.

"Don't use the word loved. I love you, I loved you before, I love you and I will never stop loving you whether you remember this or not. I will always, always love you Rukia." I whisper before leaning down with my eyes closed and letting out lips meet for what will actually be the last time. We both cry silently as we kiss and we both cling onto each other like we never want to let go. I pull away and she smiles up at me.

"Ichigo I will always…" Her voice fades and she becomes limp in my arms. I fall to me knees holding her to my chest and let out an angered and pained cry.

"I wish you never had to leave me. I wish you knew how much I will always love you Rukia because I will always remember how much you loved me." I tell her everything knowing in this state she can't hear me.

"Ichigo, it'll be ok." Orihime's voice says softly from behind me and I gently lie Rukia on the ground before turning to look at Orihime and Uryuu. They both look at me with sadness in their eyes and then both look past me as people start to appear. I turn around noticing the first one to be the normal Byakuya.

I watch as he falls to his knees beside her and looks down at her with his usual cold expression but with a slight hint of worry in his eyes. I watch silently as her hand twitches and her eyes flutter open. I turn before she sits up and start walking away followed closely by Orihime and Uryuu knowing I have to leave here and this time never come back.

* * *

><p>-Byakuya-<p>

I look down at her as she wakes up and her eyes scan over me before she sits up quickly and throws her arms around me. I cautiously hug her back and she lets out a sob before she begins to cry. I've never seen her really cry like this before but she does.

"Rukia-Chan?" I ask cautiously.

"Nii-Sama, it's over isn't it?" She lets out a soft chuckle and pulls away from me before jumping to her feet and spinning around. She scans the people who came to see if she was ok. Everyone who was injured as well as all the Captains and Lieutenants to analyse Renji's dead body. I didn't really feel much sorrow about his death because he betrayed everyone.

"Rukia?" I ask again and she sighs.

"Ichigo?" She questions. She's about to run off when I grab her hand and stop her. She spins around to look at me and I start pulling her towards Captain Unohanna.

"You need to rest Rukia. Unohanna do you agree?" I say to Rukia before turning my attention to Unohanna who nods with a relieved and warm smile. She takes Rukia's arm and then flash steps away. I let out a long sigh.

"Byakuya how are you feeling?" A voice says from behind me. I turn and shrug at Ukitake and Shunsui who both smile warmly at me.

"This has been one rough situation." Shunsui shakes his head and glances over to where Renji's body lies.

"I never would have thought he would do that." Ukitake sighs. They both look at me and I just look at them back with confusion in my eyes.

"Will that be all?" I ask impatiently.

"So you did lose the warm attitude. I must say I'm a little disappointed Byakuya." Shunsui shakes his head before turning and heading over to Nanao. I shake my head and then flash step over to stay by Rukia's side as she recovers, just like she did with me.

* * *

><p>-Rukia-<p>

A whole month I have to stay in the Soul Society. Two weeks of that is me staying in recovery while the other two are helping reorganise things in Squad thirteen. Things got pretty messed up while Ukitake was ill and he's asked me to help out. I really need to get out of here fast though. I need to apologise to Orihime back in the world of the living. I just crashed at her house and had her look after me for around three days and I never said thank you of even said sorry to her. I need to speak to all of them actually, I feel guilty for forgetting them all and I must have really embarrassed Uryuu.

"Rukia, how are you feeling?" Byakuya asks in a calm tone. I turn to him with a smile.

"I'm feeling quite tired but Nii-Sama why did you find me?" I ask slightly confused.

"I felt your spiritual pressure fading and so I went to find you but when I got there it was rising again it was back to normal. It was back to the normal you." He tells me. He leans against the wall in a strangely casual way.

"Thank you for worrying." I say before looking out of the window overviewing Squad Fours barracks. I'm in the same room and Nii-Sama was before. Funny how things turn out. Apparently it left the people who just had a fever first before leaving in the order it passed making me surprisingly the last one because it took longer for the fever to appear to Captain Shunsui but apparently he was infected before me.

"Are you sad about Renji?" Byakuya asks.

"Part of me is but all I keep thinking it he did those things wanting to be with me." I look down at my hands. "Everyone got involved because I never noticed Renji liked me more than a friend."

"I would have never approved." Byakuya interrupts with a small smile. I smile and nod in agreement. "You deserve someone who will be there to protect you and someone who will fight for you, not someone who was going to alienate you."

_I will fight for you Rukia because you deserve someone who will always fight for you._

I smile to myself. I can't help but agree with Nii-Sama on that one. Yet I can't help but feel he is hinting at something. I look at him and he just looks back at me with his cloudy eyes and the chuckles lightly.

"A month will fly by Rukia but just know now that I won't say anything against your decision because what I saw…" He trails off and looks down. "Let's just say that's what you deserve." He finishes before leaving the room.

I look back out of the window with a smile on my face agreeing with my brother once again. A month will go by fast and then I'll have to sort out the things that I messed up. I owe my friends a lot this time and I need them to know that they helped me become me again.


	15. Chapter 15 Forgotten Feelings

(Three and a half weeks later)

-Ichigo-

I had left with my two friends vowing to never go back and I know now I truly never will. I can't let this become a pattern. I can't let her return and let my feelings escape again.

The first week I spent in physical pain. I wasn't eating or sleeping knowing what I had lost. Everywhere I went I could see her, hear her, feel her hand in mine. I would think about the night I spent with my arms wrapped around her every time I tried to sleep and I would remember when I promised to always stay by her side when I took a shower or a bath. I'd eat and remember the night we ate hot stew together in silence after she'd cried on my shoulder for an hour.

After a week I started to occupy myself with studying for when we went back to school. This time we had a five week holiday due to some reconstruction going on at the school. This also meant though we had to do a Maths, English and Science project over the holiday and it had better be a good one. I finished all three of mine I that second week.

During the third week I managed to sleep by spending as much time with Yuzu and Karin as possible. They took my mind off her and so I watched chick flicks with them and took them clothes shopping. I took them to the park or anywhere they wanted to go for a whole week and it worked.

It's now half way through the fourth week and I realise this time my feelings didn't get stored away. They stayed open but I just learned to find ways not to think about her and found ways not to wonder if she's visit soon.

"Hello?" I ask answering the house phone while watching how to cook cookies from Yuzu.

"Hey Ichigo." Orihime's voice replied. I spent days in-between studying and family time with Orihime, Chad and Uryuu. They didn't talk about her or how we were together but instead talked about school projects and other random topics they would think of.

"What's up Orihime?" I say in a flat voice. Though I took my mind off her for the whole of those three weeks my mood didn't really lighten up. I still miss her now and nothing will ever change that.

"I was wondering if you wanted to come round to mine for tea." She says with a kind voice. She's been a lot happier since Uryuu plucked up the courage to ask her out two weeks ago. Nearly every day they spent with each other and she was noticeably happier.

"Maybe…" I start.

"Chad and Uryuu are staying for tea and you'll never guess who else is here." She says with a bubbly voice. It's can't be her, she's back too soon, I'm not ready for her yet. I can't cope with seeing her yet…

"Hi Ichigo." Her voice interrupts my thought. My hand starts to shakes and I drop the phone on the floor.

"Ichigo?" Yuzu asks before picking up the phone and asking who's there. Not now, I wasn't ready to hear her voice, one thing I never noticed was though her personality changed her voice stayed the exact same. Yuzu's eyes widen and she looks at me before asking if she can speak to Orihime. Yuzu apologises that I won't be going to hers for tea but makes up the excuse that I promised to help Yuzu cook dinner tonight. Yuzu says goodbye before hanging up the phone and placing it back in the stand where it beeps and begins to charge.

"I need a glass of water." I think aloud and take a glass from the side of the sink and fill it with cold water before gulping it down. I'm not ready to see her now. It still hurts though I know it was only fair. It still feels like a hollow's tore a hole in my chest.

* * *

><p>-Orihime-<p>

She apologised as soon as I opened the door. I was shocked to see her stood there in her gigai dressed in denim shorts and a plain light blue T-shirt. I let her in and she explained how guilt she felt about me having to look after her like that. I immediately told her Uryuu and Chad were coming for tea and she should stay too. She agreed with a smile but was silent when I asked if she was staying at Ichigo's. She told me she hadn't spoken to him yet and it was after Uryuu and Chad arrived that I called him.

"He's helping Yuzu with diner tonight." I explain knowing too well it's a lie. I put the phone back before pulling the cottage pie out of the oven. Yuzu dropped it off this morning when I told her over the phone how yummy her last one was.

I plate up the cottage pie and then balance the four plates and take them into the dining room. I place all of them down before sitting next to Rukia with Uryuu opposite me and Chad opposite Rukia. While we eat I offer for Rukia to stay at mine while she's here and she agrees after five minutes of persuading. She asks us about our holiday and we ask her about her recovery. Some of the things she says are a little unlike her but I shrug them off. I tell her about me and Uryuu and she beams at us both and comments on how she knew it would happen eventually. It was a nice normal meal but the thing was there was nothing normal about it.

"Bye, I'll see you tomorrow." I tell Uryuu before kissing him gently on the cheek. He turns slightly red before him and Chad leave. I turn around and head into the kitchen where Rukia's happily humming while washing the pots. I never would have picture her doing that it seems like something the other her would… Never mind.

"Thanks again for letting me stay Orihime. But honestly I'll sleep on the couch, I robbed you from your bed for two night right?" She says and I give in and smile.

"If you're sure." I sigh and she nods.

"It's a shame Ichigo couldn't come." She sighs and pauses for a minute with a smile playing on her lips. "I wanted to thank him."

"Well we should go to the park tomorrow. I'll invite Ichigo though Chad's busy. Uryuu can come too." I suggest and she nods smiling at me before she puts the plates on the metal rack to rinse off. I pick up a tea towel and begin drying them as Rukia stacks them up. We clean and dry making brief conversation and neither of us mentions Ichigo again.

* * *

><p>-Ichigo-<p>

I answer the phone yet again to the voice of Orihime asking if I wanted to join her and Uryuu for a day in the park. I looked out of the window at the cold wind blowing madly and told her it wasn't the best weather but she said they were going anyway I wanted to go with them. After a few minutes of talking I agree to come and catch up with the two of them having not seen them since last week. Orihime thanks me and says she'll see me around eleven at the park. I hang up and get changed trying not to think of Rukia.

I pull on my shoes at ten to eleven and call to Yuzu that I'll be back later before leaving and heading towards the park. It is actually quite cold today and it rained last night so not many people are around as I walk down the streets. The idea of going to a park in this weather is actually a little insane but I owe them two big time. They told Chad what had happened and though they never mentioned her they encouraged me to eat and both researched methods to help with sleeping problems. They were a really big help and though are conversations were pointless they did keep my mind off her for a little while.

I walk through the gate and notice Uryuu and Orihime sat on two (of the four) swings side by side. Slowly rocking in the wind. They both smile and wave at me as I arrive and I notice the park is empty apart from one more person. I stop in my tracks and watch as she turns her head to look at me from the bench only a few meters away.

She looks beautiful in dark jeans and a stripy black and grey pull over jacket with a hood. Part of a plain white T-shirt shows at the bottom of the jacket. On her feet are plain black converse with their white laces standing out. Her hair is neat and shiny falling to her shoulders as usual before bangs wave and twist off in different directions. The same thick black strand of hair falls between her deep violet eyes watching me. I begin to turn around to leave unable to cope with seeing her so soon when a voice stops me.

"Ichigo, don't leave." She says and it reminds me so much of when she begged me never to leave her alone. I turn back to face her and unwillingly walk towards the bench slowly before stopping a meter in front of her. She stays sat down but looks up at me with a calm face tinged with a slight sadness.

"I should have known you'd be here." I manage to say.

"I didn't realise you were that set on avoiding me." She replies simply, swinging her legs back and forth.

"I was busy." I lie.

"No you weren't. I know you've finished all your projects and I know you've done nothing but lounge about for the past few days and I know Yuzu made up an excuse so you didn't have to see me." She says in a slightly annoyed tone.

"I was just tired. I've been doing things none stop for the past three weeks." I say which is partly true I just don't mention how I've been doing things none stop to take my mind off her.

"I just wanted to thank you. You helped us once again Ichigo." She chuckles with a small smile. That small smile is so similar to the one she used before she changed back. I really can't cope with her today, my heart aches at the sight of her, it knows too well what it's lost.

"It's ok. I'd better go, this weather is too cold for my liking." I begin.

"Wait Ichigo…" She whispers.

"Say bye to Orihime and Uryuu for me." I say turning my back to her and walking a few steps away.

"But you promised you'd always stay by my side." She calls to me and I freeze on the spot and slowly turn around.

* * *

><p>-Rukia-<p>

He looks at me with shock in his eyes and I stand up before taking a step towards him. The pain in his eyes when he saw me was too much. I thought he might have got over those few days we spent together but I guess neither of us did.

"Yeah, you'll probably forget everything about the time you were like this." I whisper and look at him. "That's what you told me but you were so wrong."

He blinks away the tears he doesn't want me to notice but I step forward again knowing that he needs to know everything. He needs to know how I remember his smell and I remember how wonderful it felt with his arms wrapped around me.

"You called me Rukia-Chan because I liked it. You let me cry on your shoulder in the rain. You carried me home with you and made sure I was ok. You promised you would never leave me and let me sit outside the bathroom while you were in the bath. You told me you'd protect me and let me sleep next to you in your bed when I was scared. You didn't even flinch when I wrapped my arm around your waist." I tell him. "You allowed yourself to love me thinking I would forget everything but you did it anyway. You allowed yourself to be weak in front of me and you cried when you kissed me on the lips for the first time." I step right in front of him and place my right hand on his chest with tears in my eyes knowing the beating I feel under my palm belongs to me.

"Rukia…" He chokes.

"The last thing you told me was that you loved me then, you love me now and you would always love me whether I remembered that you did or not." I look up into his watering eyes. "But I never got to finish my part…" I pause and feel the tears run down my own cheeks. "I never got to say that Ichigo I will always love you." My left hand reaches up and runs through his hair as his arms wrap around my waist and I stand on my tip toes while gripping onto his jacket (the same one he gave me when I cried in the rain) with my right hand and I he brings his lips to meet mine.

The gently touch of his lips and the salty taste of our tears if too beautifully familiar. He's once again let himself be weak though he spent the past three weeks trying to be strong. His arms tighten around me, pulling me closer to him, it feels so natural to run my fingers through his spiky orange hair.

"Rukia…" He whispers my name so softly when we pull a centimetre a part. I smile and then bury my face into his shoulder and just like the last time he buries his face in my hair.

"You still smell good." I whisper remembering the first we were like this together.

"_You always smell good." I told him and he laughed._

"_You too." He replied and then gently kissed the top of my head._

"You too." He smiles and I know we were both thinking of the same memory.

* * *

><p>-Ichigo-<p>

I held her for around half an hour. We both let the evidence of tears fade from our faces and we both clung onto each other like we had three weeks before. She pulled away slightly but we still held each other and she explained everything to me. She explains that she could remember Orihime and Tatsuki due to the picture on Orihime's draws. She told me how while in recovery she knew she remembered it all and she knew everyone else did due to the odd slip ups of Byakuya calling her Rukia-Chan. She told me how she didn't grieve for Renji knowing what he did and she told me how she couldn't wait to come back to the world of the living and see me again.

"So you remember everything?" I ask and she nods.

"Every single bit of it Onii-San." She winks and I smile.

"What I don't understand is how you fell in love with me so quickly. You spent a day with me and were already telling me you loved me." I admit and she flushes slightly but smiles.

"Because I realise now that I loved you before that. I had fallen in love with you the day you rescued me from my execution and had never told you but when I lost my memories the strongest part of my heart made me remember that one feeling. That feeling was my love for you." She explains before kissing me quickly on the lips again. She turns slightly red but I just smile and kiss the top of her head while hugging her tightly knowing that just as I said to her before, I will never not want this and that this feeling can never truly be forgotten.


End file.
